i really wanted your post to be told from the perspective of the fish, with the coup de grace being something along the lines of “your modeling costar is a vapid-presenting woman,” which would have filled me with such glee.

Oh lord... Miss April has me so hard right now. I’d like to fertilize her roe.

“Twelve magnificent carp will be presented in 2017 with no less attractive women according to the theme...”

Is this the uniform?

New Star Wars movie: deep space pirate crew finds a TIE Advanced X1 drifting through space, heavily damaged and apparently having lost hyperdrive halfway through a lightspeed jump. Tractor beam pulls the fighter into their cargo bay.
A few minutes later, the crew inspects the fighter and finds no pilot. Just the…

Well first prototype done. Will have to try again. I decided to try cutting out john, but I think I’ll skip that next time. Also the box is a bit too tall, a 1/2 inch off that will make him a bit more snug. But considering I made it in 20 minutes out of stuff I had in the lab, I’m particularly pleased! I think…

Well religious entities are tax exempt.

How could beheading Ewoks be a dark ending ? I’d watch that movie ! (after credit bonus scene: Jar Jar Binks dies)

that’s brilliant! I feel like “illinois light cone” works equally well as slang for refrigerator or as a term for a profoundly depraved sex-act.

Um football is physics — for example, I orient all astronomical events by their relation to the 1985 Bears’ past and future light cone.

Slow motion Darth Vader murdering them one at a time with blood and limbs flying everywhere is a dark space ship?

The director spoke about it in interviews, a script doctor was brought in to tweak after the first pass. It’s pretty standard practice with large tent pole features like this. Given it was the first in the “A Star Wars Story” films it was scheduled into production as they knew they were going to have to fine tune the…

Wow, “Touchdown Catch” really undersells that highlight. What a grab.

That’s hyperbolic nonsense. The Phantom Menace is one of the worst major-release films ever made. It’s fine to dislike The Force Awakens, but c’mon.

It was like watching Jordan in his prime just destroy everyone ... he used a GUY to kill someone by flinging his body around - so awesome!!

Force Awakens was fine. It really was. John Boyega ruled, Daisy Ridley ruled, Oscar Isaac wasn’t in it enough but he was good in the parts he was in, Kylo Ren was weird and intimidating, seeing Han and Chewy and Leia again ruled, it had good lightsaber shit and good X-wing shit and good Millennium Falcon shit and it…

Yo, seriously, [MAJOR SPOILER ALERT] Vader’s rampage right at the end was probably the most fuckin’ amped I’ve been in a movie theater in years. I felt like my head was going to pop.

My question is, will there be adult sized Lego Batman costumes for Halloween 2017?

Almost Human was *just* getting its stride when Fox canned it. Damn...I think I need another Box-O-Wine now.