Right now, our focus is on our game tomorrow against Houston

“I’m disappointed that this issue has brought undue attention to our football staff as we prepare for our upcoming bowl game.”

I look forward to many new developments in the case, so I can keep seeing this tag.

Like I love pushing paper and reading email from morons enough to do it professionally.

I thought they contracted that kind of thing out? 

Well it sure isn’t an AC 130. that would mean there are some fancy little broom sticks sticking out the side that make things on the ground turn very flat and likely be on fire. :)

Even though it has nothing to do with it, the fact the cheerleaders are wearing Captain America shirts just makes it even more hilarious.

The labored – call it agonizing – sentence structure employed in the aforesaid comment was submitted merely for the enjoyment – and, perhaps, though not entirely, for the confusion – of the commentariat herein and can be found, at the present moment in time, such as it were, here alone, unless and, though one hopes…

“Oh shit we forgot the mayor was coming tonight!”

To pen an authentic and intellectual cinema review – the kind worthy of publication in America’s snootiest airport magazine – one must remember to include countless, such as it were, asides and clauses, seemingly without a purpose other than rendering one’s prose an inarticulate gruel of half thoughts, all while…

I keep thinking back to my high school English teacher. If I had turned that in as a sentence in an essay, he would have handed it back to me and said “You like to show off? How about you diagram this sentence for the class.”

You make a valid point, Horsemeat Avenger.

Kind of a low ranking for the Fridge. At a minimum, I’m sure he’s well versed in EnergySTAR certification, which has to count for something at DOE.

You’re just realizing this now? Most of my friends died in a fireball nearly 65 million years ago. Those that survived turned from terrible awe inspiring beasts as big as buildings into robins and sparrows. There clearly is no god.

Clinton won Colorado, so what’s actually going on?

Because I could not stop my Jokes

You had to say it. Fuck. Now you know they’ll do it.

He’s wearing camouflage pants.

by that standard, I gave up many delicious years ago

Ballghazi II: The Search for the Ideal Gas Law