Or Brett Farve

Actually, it’s really smart that they couldn’t sign Kurt Cousins, on account of him not existing. Though my research would have been more fun if there had been.

If MLB would finally allow players to take 2 gloves to their fielding positions there wouldn’t have been all this wasted time. Gloves over the wall are destroying people’s love of America’s Pastime.

Sherman’s use of fire strongly suggests that he would be good to have in a fight against White Walkers.

What is with this guy and sliding into things?

Too bad Honest Abe is too busy vampire-killing.

This needs the full “Spotlight” treatment: Send in the Hulk and Birdman!

Put your faith in reputable news outlets like, uh, Deadspin.

A-Rod’s personal Dunkirk was this one time when he was surrounded on all sides by mirrors and had to kiss his way out. For some reason, Harry Styles and Tom Hardy were there.

At least they have a guy from NASA there to help his throwing to first base mechanics

So he’s not buying the Marlins either?

It does start off with “Once Upon a Time in Occupied France...” so I just took it as a fairy tale.

I may be reading too much into this, but it would seem that the White Supremacy inning at the Braves ballpark is every inning.

+1 deflated Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch

I don’t know whether he plays baseball “the right way,” but I bet Papelbon wouldn’t dare try to choke Mr. Deatherage.

...but maybe not this specific museum

I guess because if it’s Tarantino I know the nazis are going to get what’s coming to them.

Being traded to the Knicks...BY the Knicks.

But do you think that tying one’s tie like that will become a fashion inflection point like JFK not wearing a hat at his inauguration or Polk being the first president to go commando?