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Americanese
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And in the end, the big reveal is David Schwimmer

I never said she wasn’t viable, obviously she still acts. I said she makes her money primarily as a celebrity rather than an actor, currently.

Who else could be Jennifer Aniston really?

I remember Bill Kristol getting an opinion column in the NYT (I think this was shortly after Obama was elected).  His takes were so awful he only lasted a year. However, I can’t recall any of his takes being as collectively awful as Stephens’ are (Kristol’s were more Douthat territory).  So not sure what it will take

She didn’t get enough support to make it to the Sept debates, so she is in this race only nominally. And the Press eats up shit like this.

It’s all fun and games until she decides to run as a third party candidate

This cliche would be funny if it weren’t so tragic. Fuck these assholes forever for taking their own issues and forcing others to suffer because of them.

But will Brad Pitt reprise his role for the remake?

and CGI

True, but at this point she’s making money primarily as a celebrity rather than an actor.

Roasted Duck!

Ketchup enjoyed nibbling, scrounging, and occasionally being fawned over by open-minded and -hearted individuals, even while often being misunderstood in the same way as countless other rodents.

No one is fine until Jen and Angelina reconcile.

I read somewhere that Aniston has basically made a career being the subject of tabloid fodder. She gets paid six figures for each of those interviews, plus rolling out one or two totally forgettable rom-coms every year, plus shilling water and Aveena. She’s basically built out a career being Jennifer Aniston.

Jeremy Renner also wrote Baby Shark. True story.

Wind River was excellent, but that may be due more to the director (who did the also excellent Hell or High Water) than to Renner.

It’s an olde worlde custome

Well done brother Atila.

Or add another team to each division.