Okay, I never suggested anyone would and you are an asshole for even bringing that up and putting that image in my head.

So if the president doesn’t want to answer for something or be held at all accountable, he can achieve 100% non-culpability by having his lawyers put it in a letter?

Seemed like a few people laughed from the beginning, probably because they knew that Trump would never say something like that. And by “something like that,” I mean either (a) a complete sentence absent any grammatical errors, or (b) something that wasn’t about himself.

I’m going to assume this is just tongue and cheek (pun intended) because I’m pretty sure you’d ridicule someone like Sean Hannity if he got his pearls all clutched because Chelsea Clinton or some other lefty person were making out in public.

I kept reading for the end part: you guys are Nazis.

The only reason I pay any attention to what Trump says anymore is so that I can try to come up with new and witty ways to insult him. Kimmy Schmidt kept counting to 10 over and over. This is the way I cope.

The deep state is still better than the derp state.

Really makes the case that every good American needs to call Ivanka a cunt. I mean, for the good of the country, even if you don’t really want to, you should call her a cunt. But I do want. Ivanka Trump is a cunt.

The judge here doesn’t seem to make sense. Not “I don’t agree with him” (which I don’t agree with the sentence), but I don’t even understand what he is saying from a linguistic perspective.

But we all want to know: did Trump have some fun while he was there?

It is such a white thing to say: “I can say whatever I want because my heart is in the right place, and you should know that because I told you.”

You’re not good at words.

How long after the last time a black soccer player has bananas thrown at him does it have to be to say that is actually in the past? It doesn’t feel in the past to me.

Did he not also violate state election laws??

I never understood this. I understand stealing everything else from black people, but why steal their victim-hood? It’s like breaking into someone’s house and taking their garbage.

I will dig a shallow grave and slit my own throat if they are not divorced in 10 years. This is a binding contract.

No wonder Giuliani keeps getting divorced. His pillow talk is rambling nonsense.

Coming up with “Be Best” really took it out of her.

I think the biggest surprise here is that apparently Trump is actually paying Giuliani so he could afford the $50 it takes to get your name on the jumbo-tron for your birthday.

It’s both incomprehensible nonsense but also exactly what everyone knew would happen.