It’s nice being a humorless turd, isn’t it?

You were right the first time.

Three jobs just to get by: taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and making your bed.

Trump so clearly doesn’t have a clue about what he’s talking about. He only vaguely understands what the topic is.

Those damn dreamers were so lazy, they couldn’t even cross the border on their own, rather they relied on mommy and daddy to do it for them.

I looked at his Twitter and I’m still not getting this. Do the Dems not actually want to release their memo because then they’d also be down in the mud? Have they actually said they don’t want to release it publicly, or is that just a theory?

I was being sarcastic. Are the Dems actually not trying to release their memo?

What I learned from this video is that apparently it is “not true” that the GOP blocked the Democrats memo from also being published. Why hasn’t Gawker written about this yet? It seems like a big deal. Why don’t the Democrats release their memo? What are the Democrats trying to hide by not releasing their own memo?

Sure. My point was more just that a lot of kids are dumb and don’t know shit, even if we were teaching it correctly.

When my cat throws up on the hardwood instead of the rug, she doesn’t expect praise. My cat is more reasonable than Trump. And a better communicator. And she is awesome and Trump sucks.

I wonder how many can correctly identify the central causes of the Revolutionary, 1812, Mexican-American, WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, or any/all of the wars with Indians, meddling in Central America and “nation building” in the Middle East.

A lifehack for reversing an abortion. Just get pregnant again. That way you won’t have a fucked up baby from a botched abortion.

Everyone knows this is not the highest number in history. The highest number ever is infinity times infinity, or arguably infinity times infinity plus 1.

Trump announced one policy with any specificity: he’s going to keep Gitmo opened. Nothing else he said can really be debated because it was vague talking point at best, but mostly just verbal diarrhea. You can’t civically engage with Trump because he just randomly screams bullshit at you that is likely to change in…

If the Bears were in the playoffs, are you sure the candles weren’t there because electricity had not yet been invented?

This guy definitely likes little boys. Calling it right now.

He just misheard his doctor, and thought that he said “you have to clap.”

Good for Joe Kennedy III, but actually really not good, can we replace him with someone that fills out more of my diversity bingo card???

No, you just arrest all of the brown people. On national TV. To make a point.

Do you think that maybe he hasn’t actually thought this through?