Any white person who theatrically “bro’s” you reverts back into a klansman when you’re out of the room.

Yeah, it sucks to wipe a billionaire’s ass for 12 years only to have them discover they can wipe their own ass.  

Studying for the “American History: 1980 to 2016" test is going to be that easy.

I *thought* his delivery looked like he pulled it out of his ass.

To be fair, he worked for the Bears, who didn’t so much so much “play football” as “gather at scheduled intervals to be near footballs.” Jay cared about football, he just hates gatherings.

That is one long-winded wikipedia article.

I know, right? It’s like they’ve never heard of Matthew Lesko.

“There can be only one... boy in the striped pajamas”

Even Schindler’s List 2: Electric Boogaloo?

I live next to these people.

Guaranteed to happen: Bears fans will notice Cutler is putting up better numbers than Chubinsky/Glennon and wonder aloud why he never played that well for the Bears.

You know, between the Kaepernick bullshit, the guilt of watching people kill themselves for my entertainment, and my not wanting to turn a blind eye to the toxic horrors that seem to spill out of the NFL every week, I was really ready to just drop football altogether.

But honestly, the prospect of going through life…

“We are here today to talk about the dramatic growth in the number of unauthorized disclosures of classified national security information in the past several months. This includes leaks to both the media and in some cases even unauthorized disclosures to our foreign adversaries,” Sessions said.

“No, he’s right, it was in Germany!” - Austria

So many shitty things have leaked out around the edges of NCAA/NFL football the past ~10 years that I’ve got more reasons NOT to watch than reasons to even bother in the first place.

Of course, as a Bears fan, I technically stopped watching football years ago.

Come on now, the 3rd quarter wasn’t that great.

Who can walk after Goldschlager?

There are three microbreweries within walking distance of anyone’s location. Hell, I couldn’t sleep last night, and when I lifted the mattress to find out what was wrong, I discovered a hipster had started a microbrewery under my bed.

It’s almost like his point is that there a lot of shitty QBs that have NFL jobs,instead of trying to run down the list of people who own teams or what a single team’s depth chart is at QB.