Learned to drive a stick while drunk at the intersection of Route 66 and Ash in Barstow CA, because the owner of the car outranked me and was even more drunk.

Maybe it’s aged a little poorly, but in the context of when it came out, that in-engine opening sequence was jaw-dropping.

Sigh.

Except, that has nothing to do with the manufacture or transport of automobiles.

Please, blow me more shit, you’ve almost accomplished your singular mission.

I’ll get right on that, TryHard McUserName.

Right now, Cleveland has a 2-game lead over KC. History shows that Tribe fans shouldn’t get worried until they have a 3 game lead.

It’s alright; some of her best kids are black people.

Back in the early 80s, my uncle had his prized 1978? Trans Am stolen while he was inside a restaurant with my (now former) aunt. He had just picked the car up from his father-in-law’s gas station/garage, where the car had spent most of the summer in and out for an electrical problem.

Well, no, from the looks of it she’s a jobs creator at every restaurant within driving distance.

This is why when I threaten someone, I just tell them I’m going to send them a love letter. Straight from my heart, fucker!

I’m not saying this to shit on cleaning people as a whole, but it is a profession that attracts a good number of people who, for one reason or another, don’t want to be overburdened with variable outcome processing in the course of performing their job duties.

Fuck everyone involved in that newscast. “The dude who just exploded did not give a completely accurate frame-by-frame recap to the 911 operator! What is he trying to hide??”

Honest question: was Fury Road not technically an action movie with a female lead? I know Hardy got top billing, but it sure felt like it was Furiosa’s story more than that of Max.

Wait, is the semen itself dead, or is the yak it was drawn from dead?

My favorite news article regarding Minced Prius:

If you don’t eat Taco Bell when you’re drunk, when are you going to eat at Taco Bell?

The earliest league-wide pitch count data I found was from 1988; back then, pitchers averaged 15.13 pitches per inning. It’s gone steadily up since then (16.53 in 2016) but in 1988 it was 15.13.

Anyway, figure, if Nolan Ryan had pitched his entire career at a one-time league average of 15.13 pitches per inning, then…

Which is kind of funny, considering they slap at those exact fans right there on Ænima.

But then there’s also the guys like Nolan Ryan, who have high K/9, walk a ton of batters, get hit a lot, and still kept the opposing team to a respectable number of runs.

Thinking about it, Nolan Ryan must have thrown four trillion pitches at the MLB level.