I think Marvel really missed an opportunity here, but it’s not too late: bring out gay Juggernaut.

Well, no, from the looks of it she’s a jobs creator at every restaurant within driving distance.

This is why when I threaten someone, I just tell them I’m going to send them a love letter. Straight from my heart, fucker!

I’m not saying this to shit on cleaning people as a whole, but it is a profession that attracts a good number of people who, for one reason or another, don’t want to be overburdened with variable outcome processing in the course of performing their job duties.

Fuck everyone involved in that newscast. “The dude who just exploded did not give a completely accurate frame-by-frame recap to the 911 operator! What is he trying to hide??”

Honest question: was Fury Road not technically an action movie with a female lead? I know Hardy got top billing, but it sure felt like it was Furiosa’s story more than that of Max.

Wait, is the semen itself dead, or is the yak it was drawn from dead?

My favorite news article regarding Minced Prius:

If you don’t eat Taco Bell when you’re drunk, when are you going to eat at Taco Bell?

The earliest league-wide pitch count data I found was from 1988; back then, pitchers averaged 15.13 pitches per inning. It’s gone steadily up since then (16.53 in 2016) but in 1988 it was 15.13.

Anyway, figure, if Nolan Ryan had pitched his entire career at a one-time league average of 15.13 pitches per inning, then…

Which is kind of funny, considering they slap at those exact fans right there on Ænima.

But then there’s also the guys like Nolan Ryan, who have high K/9, walk a ton of batters, get hit a lot, and still kept the opposing team to a respectable number of runs.

Thinking about it, Nolan Ryan must have thrown four trillion pitches at the MLB level.

Ha! Imagine their surprise when he dies having served not even HALF of that. They’ll be forced to house a corpse for decades!

My kids don’t know what a DVD is. All our physical media is ‘blu-ray’ regardless of format.

Dodgers don’t *need* Darvish. Even without Kershaw, their staff WAR is second in baseball. Of course, if they GET Darvish, I don’t see anyone getting past them in the playoffs.

Bullshit, I know how to set the clock on the VCR; I am a godsend to my elders.

I like to think of it as Trout is the heavyweight champion, and Altuve is the pound-for-pound champion. Joey Votto is the intercontinental champion.

Secret Recipe

Nothing wrong with <gasp> original and new, except it has a better-than-average chance of being <gasp> terrible and shitty.

 Which, I can handle terrible and shitty <gasp> but it would be a severe leap of faith on the part of Disney/Marvel to risk literally billions on something purpose-built by a contemporary team,…

Where Madoff fucked up is, he ripped off other rich people. If he was content to just scam small businesses, local governments, and every taxpayer within 400 miles, things would have been different.