The unbearable tension of now knowing if you’re right and being unable to risk finding out.

An elephant was walking one day and got a thorn wedged between its toes. Every step it took only drove the thorn in further, until finally the pain was too great and the elephant took a break to marshall his strength in preparation for the next few steps..

One of my clients is a minor league baseball team, and they check EVERY bag at EVERY event... that’s like 80 dates over a season. If an organization on as tight a budget as a Class A ballteam can afford to do that, everyone expecting random guests can.

Maybe instead of math, they should teach austerity courses and have mandatory symposiums on self-control. Wait, no, that would mean the collapse of Western civilization.

Yeah, well, pretty much everyone was convinced we’d wake up on the 9th of November and never have to hear from Trump again, and look how that panned out. Except for a couple of ZIP codes, this country is absolutely thrilled with Darth Cheeto for the exact reasons you’d think he would be reviled.  

Trying to weld together two metals with completely different properties is, well, basically impossible.

Well that, and Joan Rivers never had to reach. She took whatever lemons you gave her and made jailhouse vodka out of it. Griffin will never, ever be as natural and great as Joan Rivers. Shes Andy Dick, sans dick.

...then he ruins it by opening his mouth and blowing out one of the three phrases he has stored there. He had great stories, but his commentary was insipid.

To compensate for the lost revenue, the Indiana Toll road has more than doubled its rates, effective immediately.

Trades are usually printed on paper that’s ~2x to ~4x times heavier than comics (depending on the era/publisher, etc). I rather liked the old Marvel Essentials line, where the books were reprinted in B&W on rags. Unfortunately, the glue they used on the spines must have been based on Spider-Man’s web formula,…

Trades are usually printed on paper that’s ~2x to ~4x times heavier than comics (depending on the era/publisher,…

Counterpoint: digital comics can be read - anywhere - without harming their “value.” Heck, you can even let your kids read them! And, being digital objects, they don’t take up scads of your living space; you can carry the entire runs of multiple titles on your phone. I’d say digital comics have at least SOME value.

Counterpoint: digital comics can be read - anywhere - without harming their “value.” Heck, you can even let your…

Eh, Maddon does a lot of unconventional shit and in most cases it either works or at least doesn’t harm the outcome, but when he’s wrong, he goes waaaay wrong.

Pujols is kind of like like Hank Aaron that way; guy was easily one of the all-around greatest to ever play the game, but if it weren’t for the one highlight of him breaking Ruth’s HR record, he would exist solely in a memory hole.

#ArbeitMachtFrau

Oh my God.

I didn’t realize they made such a thing as weapons-grade Old Spice.

The rake is for dethatching (pulling the dead grass out from between the clumps of living stuff). I actually broke down and bought an electric dethatcher off Amazon, and it’s pretty awesome, insofar as lawn equipment goes.

Lime makes soil more alkaline; some grasses require acidic, others alkaline soil. Where I live, the soil generally flops acidic, so I use lime to bring it back. If it were more alkaline, I’d use sulphur. There are pH testing kits out there that will tell you what your soil is at, but you also need to know what kind…

The thatch layer is the layer of matted clippings/leaves/dead bugs and whatnot that collects over time along the surface of the dirt; a little bit of thatch is good - it decomposes and returns nutrients to the soil. Too much thatch is bad - it prevents nutrients and water from penetrating the soil and reaching the…

At my old house, I kept my grass at 4 inches; it would go to seed after about 10 days, but there wasn’t a weed anywhere to be seen. It was awesome, make-you-go-barefoot grass that was the home to millions of lightning bugs every June.

I just moved to a house that had a lawn care service its entire existence, the lawn…

Somebody better get Christianity on the phone & tell them they might want to ditch all those crosses.