Figure you can plan your lunch break around it, and it’s not really downtime, except maybe you get tired of eating whatever is handy near the supercharger.

What kind of sociopath hates the Cubs? That’s like hating the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Maybe it’s awfully self-serving not to vote for HRC because you think she’s self-serving, when, if enough people “protest vote” we could end up with the most self-serving human being on the planet in her stead?

I thought it was ridiculous when, after the EU vote, even the people that voted in favor of it were…

Kind of like Jeter, the last two years of his career?

If you’re trying to impress Americans, always convey ‘distance’ and ‘feats’ scaled to a football.

In this instance, imagine a kicker given 72 chances to hit the exact center of a 4' target on a 76 yard field goal, and converting on 70 of those attempts.

On the one hand, Tonga has one of the highest literacy rates in the world: 99%. On the other hand, they have one of the highest obesity rates in the world, at 50%. They must lay around in grease traps, reading books.

“Joey Votto metaphorically hit a home run straight into my dick and my dick exploded.”

Do you mean to say that Joey Votto donged a dong, a dong that’s now gone?

You’re right, to a point.

They lost Schwarber to Maddon’s weird schemes. He’s pulled pitchers too early and too late, costing the Cubs games. They’ve played .500 ball for the better part of 2 months.

On the flip side of that, they’re 32-8 in games decided by 5 runs or more, and were able to score those runs largely…

I wish my wife understood this.

The midwest was never anything other than shit, that’s why housing here has always been so damn cheap. You land anywhere in Indiana, and you are always at least one hour away from anything that isn’t founded by goobers, patronized by goobers, or franchised by goobers.

That is perfect, except, they aren’t pamphlets - conservatives who speak extensively in memes do so because for them, the memes express the entirety of their understanding of whatever is the topic at hand.

They have been trained to hate Hillary - literally - using the same methods that conditioned Derek Zoolander to…

Not to defend the guy, but imagine this from Pete Rose’s perspective - his awful choices in life have left him bereft of a veritable fortune, banned from actively participating in the sport that defined him, and ultimately denied entry into the Hall of Fame. He has nothing left but the title “Hit King” and here comes…

ND Alum spotted.

Sure, Nissan dealers can sell the Leaf next to their other cars, and, considering their arrangement with Nissan, they’d probably be disinclined to upsell the Tesla if they had one in the showroom.

I knew things were going to go bad in Chicago, but I never expected it to be the White Sox who would go full Cub.

“There’s also idiot with idiot ideology that matches his constituents that someone with a ton of money and an agenda figured could be made to serve his interests.”

Really do recommend that people read the whole message. It really is incredulous.

To top it off, she probably idolizes Reagan.

Has Schilling been invited to speak? Because if he hasn’t. it has to burn his ass that Tebow is turning down what for Schilling is a dream opportunity.

This, here. Pence has dreams of a run at the White House, and his chances of keeping that dream alive are better as a VP on a failed ticket than as a Governor who was voted out at the earliest opportunity.