Indiana was going to flop red anyway; I’m glad he named Pence, because that at least makes Pence somebody else’s problem for the next 4 months.

As noteworthy as it is that they caught this one attempted murderer, the implied mandate is that they gotta catch ‘em all.

That’s piss-poor. Ryder marks the height on the driver-side shell upright; it’s even printed in reverse so that it’s legible in a mirror. Plus, their agents will tell you exactly what intersections to avoid (in their local market, at least).

Not likely. Shipping costs an arm and a leg.

Population: Hulk Hogan

On the other hand, if the NL loses the ASG, then the Cubs go full-Cub and cede their lead to St. Louis, then the Cardinals go on to lose game 7 of the World Series on the road, it will have all been worth it.

Picture the person that would buy this weapon. Would there be anything remarkable about them at all if they didn’t buy this weapon? THAT is why people buy this sort of thing. It takes an anonymous smear of human shit and makes them a dangerous snowflake.

It’s ok, we understand Cardinal fans haven’t yet mastered the skills necessary to cope with being 11 games out on July 1st. Hang in there, little buddy! There’s always next year!

One of my clients is a minor league ballclub; when we first picked them up, I spent a lot of time at the gates, making sure their ticket-scanning system was functioning correctly under load.

That’s the problem, he hit a homer. He should have clobbered a monster dong.

“I shot myself.”

I would like to think it’s less about how little they can pay them, and more about how much of their time they can funnel into molding them into ballplayers. Theory being, American prospects have far too many obligations and distractions compared to their international peers.

The Cubs’ Tommy La Stella is also a Chanticleer; he might be on the DL,but he’s on the MLB roster.

“Save America’s Pastime” seems an odious way of acknowledging the fact that Minor League rosters are increasingly dominated by demographic minorities from an international pool of talent. Now that it isn’t Jimmy and Chip making the ball club, it’s time to cinch off the payscale.

Now that you mention it, I think we should be getting paid more than minimum wage for this. I mean, what is America’s true National Pastime?

I had a 40-lb Brittany break into a lazy susan while we were at work; he ate a whole can of Hershey’s cocoa powder, a can of baking powder, and a tub of Crisco. I expected him to keel over, but he didn’t show any effects (or remorse). That night, I noticed something odd out in the yard. It was the moonlight,…

Trying to figure out why anyone would follow/like/rt this guy’s twitter shit.

“I caught a ball!”

“I didn’t catch a ball!”

Na, it’s pure mechanics. Look at his swing when he first came up, compared to what he’s doing now. He used to start his swing with one foot on the ground, now he’s taking a half-step forward during the delivery and planting that front leg before the head of the bat descends. If the pitch has any speed on it, it’s…

No shit. At the very least, these guys should make as much as the peanut vendors.

My idiot ex-brother-in-law, for one. Not to worry, though, he’s a responsible gun owner.