I’m proxying for my 8yo, who received this woefully inaccurate pile of shit for Christmas, and hasn’t stopped weeping over its flawed dimensions ever since. He can barely choke out a “swwwwwooooosh” when winging it around the room.

Yeah, it sucks how much the toys cater to children these days.

Same here. I aspire to Mr. Liggett’s level of composure, because I know I’d have failed that test in front of my kids.

What if the aliens win? That would be a Clayton Bigsby reveal of epic proportions.

If anything, the technology to create the film in the first place will be better, so that’s kind of a reason. Oh, and money.

That’s great, but turn the brain off during the film, not in the months and weeks leading up to it.

This is going to sound ridiculous, but hear me out: it is possible to like more than one thing.

On the bright side, every NFC North fan has had their heart cut out at least once this season.

I don’t know what they are upset about. The Cardinals’ entire Major League roster could die a horrible death simultaneously on the last day of Spring Training and they’d still be in first place in October. That’s just baseball.

I usually can’t stand the sight of people crying, but I could watch this a few more times. Those aren’t tears of remorse, those are the tears of someone who can’t believe they are being punished for their behavior.

*Nauseated.

(Sorry, I only do that for ‘nauseous’ and ‘presently’ and the compulsion is nigh-uncontrollable.)

They might not *need* to make games anymore, but with their feet a bit more than damp from getting into hardware, having HL3 in their pocket might not be such a bad strategy, you know? It might not make $750M in 24 hours like Fallout 4 did, but I bet it could pull 200M without breaking a sweat.

First Cleveland, then Detroit, now the Bears. Ignominy is heading west for the holidays.

I spy with my little eye somebody who knows very little about hockey (or boxing, for that matter.)

It was always nice, having rednecks blow me shit for driving a Honda Civic instead of an American-made car (when the Civic was built a couple hundred miles away in Indiana, and their American cars were built in Mexico).

A few years back, I fell asleep driving (at 60mph!) and drifted off the road into the median; luckily, all I did was go airborne a couple times and came to rest 600 feet later, wheels down but stuck in some black mud about 8 inches deep.

I know, right? Somebody should get on that immediately. I don’t know why people bother modding games for free if they aren’t going to be professional about it.

So wait... not the Bane?

Meh, we’ll get them in 2016, when 6 of our everyday players simultaneously go through a sophomore slump and Jake Arrieta pitches like a human again.

Not really. Murphy could have went 0-for-20 in this series, and the Cubs still would have been swept. Anyone who expected the team full of rookies who had the most strikeouts and second-lowest team BA in MLB to make it past this Mets staff were... overly optimistic at best.