You are an amazingly kind person who just made my day. Thank you.

Write me a proposal, have it on my desk by Thursday. In triplicate along with your TPS reports. We can arrange a lunch of fried snickers bars topped with foie gras. In a city somewhere. Or a town. I'd even accept a hamlet. But dear God, not Mel Gibson. I mean, kudos for the old college effort Mel, but that was pretty…

Much appreciated! Sometimes, less is more. Like the less hours they provide breaks to nine year old Indonesian kids stitching together Nike’s, the more Nike’s get made!!

There is a Guster Burton, or as we call him, shithead. Gus, we call him Gus!

COTN

It worked. Anna did the respectable thing, with no fanfare. But I’m no one trick Pony. She was the last holdout on Jezebel for me. I respect that she made me earn it.

At least she’s outsourcing jobs to a country that pays a living wage and has strong protection for workers rights.

She’s been on mescaline Andrew. Give her some space.

He wasn’t a real person, so of course.

162 years from now some old lady from nova Scotia will publish a treatise defending Amber Rose’s choice of outfit during this important award show which I most certainly have heard of! Really! Also, an anagram for Gigi Hadid is, get ready for it, is....Gigi Hi Dada. You’re welcome.

Not to make light of the horrific crimes he stands accused of, but what the fuck is a “Christ figure?” And just how does being one naturally lead to raping pubescent girls? Because Jesus had sex with young girls? I mean, look. I know all the obvious answers to these questions. They’re not deep or revelatory queries.…

Or did you know all along Gella, but were just too afraid to admit it to yourself?

No.

Why can’t he just jerk off like the rest of us, in the drive thru line at Jack N the Box, dressed in a clown suit, wearing a button that says, “ try my homemade sour dough."

When the Palin’s get loaded on percocet and whiskey sours and start a brawl with the log cabin Republicans, please film the goddamn fight in LANDSCAPE mode Joanna.

I know, right? Thank God this urgent issue has finally been sorted!

Simplest answer: a shit ton of money. No quarantine needed as we have their vaccination and spayed/neutered records and proof of microchips. The flight home for all five will run into the thousands of dollars but they are family and we knew full well the cost taking them in and eventually bringing them home. Our cats…

I think we would all be great friends. Bless you for taking them in and loving them.

Don’t you have a malt liquor commercial to be filming there Billy D?

Just lovely!