Been there my friend. Been there.

The Internet has it’s unfathomable evils, such as allowing me to post inane, slightly drunken posts on jezebel, but what a godsend it has been during horrible situations such as this one. Women, and men, feel emboldened and safe to come forward in numbers, and the assholes, rapists, and abusers, often the most…

Sprinkling sauce is kind of impossible. Now PCP, that shit is made for sprinkling. Also, sprinkles are made for sprinkling, as are sprinklers, which sprinkle water onto plant based life forms.

Hunting man is the greatest sport of all. I read that novella way back when I was a sensitive English/creative writing major back in the uh...mid 1990's.

Refresh, wait for a new post. Refresh, wait for a new post. Refresh, it’s here! Oh shit, think of something witty Court! Hurry dammit! Lie if you have to! Post a picture of your baby boy.

I was just re-certified in providing professional development to teachers on how to work with people with dyslexia. Would be happy to charge you a reduced online rate, seeing as how your my co- bestie jezebel buddy along with Randilyn.

Is that how they spell these now?

He can do what he wants to do. Cocaine. He wants to snort cocaine.

What a coincidence! I was also involved in a mass jelly fish attack off the coast of Playa Del Carmen, just like Benicio Del Toro! What a time to be alive!

See, much more handsome today. It’s a pleasant 109 degrees.

“We know she has a great voice but it’s questionable if that’s her real voice.” Dear fuckface idiot... You’re a fuckface idiot.

My marvelous, strong, kick ass wife is Jewish too! We had a traditional Jewish wedding!

9:21 pm exactly. It was 113 degrees here today. I am Irish and Comanche. You?

We’re we separated at birth? Second straight night we’ve posted essentially the same comment simultaneously.

The entire Russian Olympic team faces a possible ban from the shit filled waters of Rio for dozens of athletes taking the exact same drug. This is systematic doping. She’s a fucking liar.

Your drunk baby is not wrong. I mean, he’s an intellectual elitist asshole, but he’s not wrong.

you’re a jezebel celebrity nom nom!

In a similar effort to mock the frivolity and corruption inherent in politics, noted drunken sociopath and hunter Dick Cheney shot his best friend right in his fucking face.

I understood the point you were making and was agreeing with you, sorry I didn't word my post better to make that clear.