So I totally thought that the wife and SIL were having a lesbian affair with each other and I kept waiting for that reveal as I read through this. Then I realized that they were each cheating with someone else, not together, and well...the story got infinitely more "normal" and boring. lol.

CLEATS MODE

Was the storage unit for his collection of Jamiroquai hats?

His name was Javier and I met him when I worked at the bookstore in college. He was super hot, but that's because all he cared about in the world was his body. Good for him! Good for him. But between working out and moisturizing and hair care and trimming and and and, there was...not much left. But super hot and…

Sigh.....a white guy that would wear "funky jamiroquai hats" in high school. I lost my virginity in his storage unit. :-/

A lonnng time ago I had an affair with a guy that would go "AAAAAAAAAAA" really loudly every time he came. I had a hard time keeping a straight face. And there was one time I started riding him and out of the blue he stretched his arms over his head and got super stiff, like he was about to dive in a pool... Why?…

This guy from plenty of fish who was so ridiculously hairy, like a full vest. Except for his public region which was shaved clean. We had sex in my grandma's house where I lived at the time.

A Juggalo. I would elaborate but I don't really think that's necessary.

"Well, I dunno," Williams says, innocently. "You have a crazy-ass job, sir."

human treasure talks to human garbage about non humans, is a treasure, makes garbage mad.

That's why I wind up marathoning so much TV on Netflix. That split-second where I catch my reflection in the black screen is too much to bear.

Well, men don't have to worry about aging like The Ladies do, so it's cool. They are free to look at their phones for as long as they wish.

it has become a problem for a generation of younger women

In all seriousness, I thought "Well that's succinct" was a reasonable deadpan comeback.

You must have so many patents!

Also: there's only one sandboob.

Keeping one eye on what's going on around her is a wonderful tribute to Stuart Scott.

"Save big money at Menards!"

There is at Menards, where everything is on sale all the time always!