Because I was such a big loser, I didn’t even have my first boyfriend until my senior year in college. But this guy. Oh my god. It was an “our eyes met across a crowded room” scenario. We talked for a few minutes and then started making out. I was in college about seven hours away but we started dating long distance.…

I usually think about that when I go to the ATM machine.

I was just talking about this over the weekend. I have no tattoos but I like well-done tattoos on other people. This version of it just seems like random shit thrown on your arm, rather than a cohesive tattoo vision. I don’t get it. I know it’s not mine to get. To me it looks like when my kids have drawn on themselves…

She’s going to skate over the flowers and trip, then everyone will figure out she’s blind!

Ha! Yes, I think this every time. Also, a very ill-fitting shirt.

I never actually got around to the pissing in my story. I got up to pee and I opened the toilet lid, which we kept close down because we had two dogs who would drink out of the toilet if we didn’t. I don’t have my contacts or glasses so I can’t really see what’s in the toilet in great detail. It just looks like…

Off topic slightly- do you remember/did you have the fire hydrants that were painted to look like little patriotic guys or flags?

Be still my nerdy heart for the Cartier-Bresson reference. I got America in Passing years ago and still look at it regularly. Carry on.

Me too! I've never met another one of us in real life.

Yes. I forget an entire decade all the time. But in this case, I feel you're totally correct and 2002 was four years ago.

I come from a family of rejectors on my mom’s side. We all have fucked up immune system stuff. I've rejected piercings, as has my daughter. My mom can't wear any jewelry at all. If there's a medical procedure where you have the option of rolling through it like nothing or being bedridden for weeks, we always skew…

I thought I was the only one who watched that show.

I know I’ll only be a gray, but I have to let you know that this delighted an entire dive bar in Cleveland. This story came up on SportsCenter and I read this to people. They bowed before the internet you.

That my now ex-husband had a bachelors degree and a moral compass that would stop him from embezzling a six figure sum, accumulating massive debt behind my back, and creating his entire life story out of lies.

I am at a quiet bar, by myself and I just snort laughed at that.

Ok, Freezistan is making me laugh more than it should.

Mel is a gift to the universe.

I dealt with secondary infertility. Not the same as primary infertility but I can totally relate to the wild range of emotions. It becomes so pervasive, in so many ways. And at the same time, you feel like you can’t really talk to anyone about it. Oh, you got pregnant from spontaneous sex with your husband? That’s…

Thank you.

Hermetically is a word I use a lot. I enjoy when other people use it. That is all.