So if you complete a marathon at 8:30 mile pace, you jogged a marathon? Because that sounds stupid.

Making curry chicken? Well, little Xanthus has dumped all of your curry on the floor and smeared your cooking oil on his bare chest. Good luck, asshole.

ALSO: I have to think that owning a freestanding Golden Teearcade game would be one of the biggest perks of being a rich person.

I’d like to ban monkey drivers who won’t let you merge AND mergers who drive all the way to the end of the merge lane and shove their way into nearly-stopped traffic because no one understands physics.

If you’re truly dedicated, every pizza is an individual pizza.

I kinda stopped reading when I found out he just recently put the proposal in there. Ruined it for me because as I started reading it I had thoughts that maybe he put the note in there 5 years ago figuring if they were still together after 5 years it’d be time to pop the question. That would have been fucking awesome…

26 conversions in A.D. 46!

“...reconsider your opinion of them.”

I know, it’s amusing. Then their idea of “justice” is sending even worse insults to me for making a joke. It’s a good thing I’m not as soft as these kids, or I’d go shoot up a mall.

so are you going to release the pics or nah?

This is one leaked nude I’m going to have to pass on.....

Jet fuel wont melt dominos

Disney announced some major casting additions this week.

After 'Jedi Rocks' there is very little you can do to harm the Star Wars brand musically.

Update (9:53 a.m.): Diniz has just collapsed on the course.

Wait for it.

Goats will eat almost anything

Strong Bad seems to agree.

That looks less like a T-Rex and more like Trogdor.

I assumed droids aren’t welcome cause they don’t buy any drinks and just take up space and use up the store’s wi-fi and electricity.