This is a great twist on the game: What if in every battle Wander investigated the crotch of a colossi for a weak point? With a “dead” girlfriend, you couldn’t blame the guy, but it would prove costly.

I say, if Trump really wants to spite the Eagles, he should go to NFC East rival Dallas and have a nice motorcade celebration through the downtown area.

Did you create a Kinja account today because you found some takes in a dumpster?

Statue-like reflexes.

Szekely Land! Where the comedy has no boundaries, and neither do the rules on where you masturbate.

Hi, I’m in Delaware.

“The game is rigged, man”, said AD Kraig “Bodie” Loovis.

LeBron seems to like “Yes Men”. He values compliance over talent.

Was your mom a “sad perspective” and your father a “flimsy argument”? JFC.

I’m not sure which is worse: “I’ve never even seen Seinfeld” or “I don’t even own a TV”.

It’s a long way down the Hochuli Road (Roh Oh Oaaah oh ode)

“Fuck you, AJ”

Wrestling on Fox. What an opportunity to bring in “Progressive Liberal” Dan Richards to play heel and really give the youngsters shit for brains.

As explained, there are tools for getting boogs out. We were handed a thing by the nurse just for that purpose when leaving the hospital with my infant child.

You have absolute shit for brains, pal.

The Lions spent 19 seasons with 2 of the top 10(?) most exciting players of all time. Winning isn’t the only source of relevance.

Remember the Titans.

He had an accomplice......Tom f’n Izzo.

Mike Ditka? How come your Kinja handle isn’t “Da Bearssss” or some shit like that?

I thought they were a local small business in west Phoenix till a few months ago. That’s when someone brought one to work, I said “Hey, they’re right around the corner from me”, to which they replied “When’d you move to Scottsdale”?