Yet, somehow they have “Nothing Bundt Cakes” across the nation.

Now is the right time for an openly gay NHL player. Just to play chicken with Marchand.

He must have a hell of a coach.

If you’re going to stand there and call Kendrick Perkins a “f——— p——”, a lot of bad things they wishin’ and wishin’ and wishin’ and wishin’ on you are going to come true.

Where do you work? I’d hate my generous tips to go to waste.

You know that episode of Black Mirror where the robotic bee swarm comes for society’s biggest assholes? The bee treatment for someone named “Flowers” is just too on the nose.

Idea: A library with a liquor license.

Patrice O’Neal on the importance of typing

Some portion of the decision making has to involve YOUR team. A highlight of the sentence is when your boys are the opponent du jour, but if they suck, too, why be reminded or worse, watch them lose. And they may not schedule often enough.

His hair does this but Jimmy Fallon messed up his hair in a manner that made his hair seem normal.

So, the big hero judge that stood by the gymnasts is just a piece of shit now?

I suppose going with a can is your answer.

Maybe they should let these great athletes use carts after all.

He could pull it. He could go the other way. The guy really sprayed the field.

A Michigan fan screaming “Burn it to the ground” is also a victim of the “mind control” this confused person is writing about. You can’t have it both ways.

You’re still trying to connect Tom Izzo to Larry Nassar? What are you, a Michigan alum?

So, the PR firm shouldn’t have monitored social media?

This reminds me of a great Paul F. Tompkins bit:

What awful comments? If you mean someone who hears him say “Ya, they keep saying Nassar is touching kids, but I don’t buy it”, that’s messed up.

“Spanish-speaking”!? Why does it matter what language they’re speaking!? We’re all one! Togetherness! Outrage! Outrage!