Like honestly, rape aside (which is a big “apart from that Mrs Lincoln how was the show?” in itself) spiking drinks isn’t funny! People DIE from this shit. It’s not a prank, it’s not light hearted fun, and it’s in no way OK. I get that nothing my crotchety old-self could say, will change how teenagers treat each…

It’s my standard question when people ask me to ask something. Maybe you’ve met me...

If you don’t do it then you are a negligent parent (I say this having no spawn and knowing nothing about your children, so like, trust me)

You mean, no slaps yet...

But like, please tell me you have slaps-giving!?

49 hours?! Jesus that is a horror storey that rivals the exorcist.

I went to the Portrait gallery in London and dutifully learned about the suffragettes and learned to tell the difference between the “good” activists who liked art and the “bad” activists who did bad things to paintings. Like I was thankful for the “bad” group but I didn’t want to be too out there.

If you could be an idea tumbler cup, what colour would you be?

I always had super easy, super irregular periods pre-birth control. I wouldn’t have blinked until I went maybe 5 months. Now with birth control going 8 months is nothing. And as someone who’s also just gotten fat out of seemingly nowhere (I’m definitely not pregnant unless it's an elephant) I can definitely understand…

Ummm, I’m getting my “friend” cut off and it’s not a simple process. It's costing a fortune, there's a chance that I might have a cute red dot in the shape of my mole, and it's going to hurt. And mine is nowhere near my eye.

This will get lost in the greys, but I’m not a very nice person. I’m mean, I strike first, and I always assume people will take what they can of me then ditch me when I’m no longer useful. I’m working on this of course but it’s how I’ve acted for all of my adult life.

Don’t get me wrong, Carson’s ummm, unique views on reality mean that he should never have power of any sort; but I really doubt he’s maliciously lying about this. I mean fights happen, rumours get told and forgotten and stuff gets muddled.

I used to feel this, then I tag-teamed hemispheres and got 2 years of winter. Now it’s sun all the time forever!

I feel like everyone involved needs to learn that you don’t eat unwrapped candy that’s been thrown on the ground...

But think about it, there’s a minority of women who can stick their dicks into pig’s heads.

But super-healthy relationship either way

I feel like the average Jezebel-reader’s mother will react with “eh scientists, what do they know? Next they’ll say breathing gives you cancer!”

I get that this is bad, but in the 90s she hounded a trans woman chemistry professor (I think, it happened when I was really young so it’s a bit murky) in a campaign that would make the WBC proud. She’s not going to move forward ever and we need to accept this and respond appropriately.

Nah she’s the kind of activist you assume is dead or doing something awful. And linguistically actress and activist are pretty similar (ok they’re not but obviously you were drunk on the awful)

My little brother accidentally disrupted one of her speeches because he was in an echo chamber late at night with an opera singer and thought he’d try out singing the Les Miz soundtrack with her. Yeah turned out Greer was giving a speech just off the corridor and due to sound issues they were louder than her so they…