“Can I fuck to my friends band?”

Sweet Jesus, it’s back. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry. Damn this is strong weed.

“These are three nice dogs I recently met.”

I for one am glad he tried to relate to the average baseball fan by wearing a baseball hat to the game.

Thank you for the ungraying, Lord Flushington.

Just pick one of these two and save everyone from this misery.

Ha!  I just noticed the “boot licking” post was in fact “un-grayed”.  I may be on to something.  Now who do I have to blow to get rid of the auto-play videos?

I can’t wait to hop over to Jalopnik to get footage of the Pumpkin INSIDE the car, followed by a quick to The Takeout to get some nice recipes for Larceny Pumpkin Pie.

Reports say the referee is recovering, though he is still struggling with “language difficulties.”

I for one think the videos are delightful, and the fact that they auto-play incessantly just adds to my euphoria. Well done, G/O Media! Keep providing us with quality content book-ended with the same 3 videos over and over again. You are doing the Lord’s work.

Matt Nagy Kind Of Did It To Himself This Time

“The wind probably helped out a little bit on that one.”- Chris Berman, on his ability to clear out the studio after perusing the Craft service table.

Interesting... When I want it to take longer, I usually think about baseball.

“I think you know what the film industry is doing for our state.”- Mayor of San Fernando, Joel Fajardo announcing the Vivid Video BangBrothers.com Bowl.

“Those two Jags fans buttfucking in the upper deck would be appalled!”

Taco Fall is nice and all, but I’m really looking forward to Chimichanga Summer.

Once asleep, Jokic placed the player’s hand into a bowl of warm water. His teammates would soon refer to him as Hassan WetSide.

“Anytime Alex gets to it I expect him to make the play, he expects to make it.” - Jennifer Lopez explaining how she missed seeing Hamilton twice due to A-Rod getting lost looking for the theater’s bathroom.

“Head coach Adam Gase did not specify which little piggy got roastbeefed.”

“Obviously, you never anticipate something like that happening. The fact that it did, it gives us pause to really cooperate anymore because I don’t know how we can allow our franchise quarterback to be put out there like that.”- Adam Gase, after it was revealed that Sam Darnold had contracted mononucleosis after…