“The script is flipped! Tom Brady - bereft on the turf! It has lit-rully been RIPPED from his grahsp!”

I mean, they’re all good. But you can’t beat “bereft on the terf.” Good on ya.

Giselle, 2012: “My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.”

Tom Brady: somehow the one white guy on the Pats who *can’t* catch a pass

Why does Jim from The Office want to reinvent himself as an action star?

I mean what do you want? He didn’t lead with his helmet, he got hit in the chest first and the impact made him buckle and that caused their helmets to collide. You can’t just say no blindside hits because you may as well just make defenders wear bells and have to yell out their intent before making contact if that hit…

You...have a hairdresser?

Why YEEEeeeeeeEEEEeeeesh

You must be fun to hang out with.

I have a hard stop at three, so we’ll need to put a pin in that and come back to it.

Consultant. Can confirm.

Can we table the next question and backtrack for a second?

This reply synergizes well with the article. I really like how you drilled-down into the list.

Consulting. Next question.

I know a lot will disagree with me, but she should have passed them to him instead of trying to run them back.

MAYO IS GOOD*

Did somebody say, “Killer body shots?!”

Glad it wasn’t just me!

Now let’s see the videos of Minnesota fans pretending to be nice to everybody, while insidiously mentioning the one thing their targets are secretly ashamed of.

You’re going to Hell for this.