close, but replace that presidential seal with his new york state convict identification number....

fiona the hippo is still the new fiona the hippo

personally i would rather stand and glower and drink coffee than sit on a stool

finally someone is willing to speak truth to the stool-obsessed masses!

😱🤯💔

i mean, if they know or suspect you’ve got coke, they’ll find it. maybe if you could safely store it inside the fuel tank, but even then, they’d probably find it. but do they send out divers for a routine inspection? i doubt it.

jeez. seal the coke up nice and tight and waterproof, weight the bags down a bit, affix them to the anchor chain next to the anchor, et voila. it’s really not hard, people.

that venal, sundowning, orange monster played himself like prince’s guitar at the tribute concert for john lennon

presumably on the grassy median at the center of the roundabout - although the one pictured in the lede doesn’t seem really suitable for this purpose. too much bush.

and that’s entirely aside from he won’t ever actually pay you

the copy for their new ‘big head’ line really writes itself

they’re considering their own legal fates. i’d imagine it’s a disbarrable offense to rep someone when you know they’re going to perjure themselves, and i’m sure the dotard couldn’t stop himself bragging about how he’ll just tell the judge whatever he wants to hear and make it all go away.

also an excellent point

a secret sex robot will be a little harder to manage, since i’d expect a semi-intelligent humanoid robot would probably cost in the ballpark of a low-end car

uh, no, honey, you’re a racist if you touch a black person’s hair without their permission because you feel like you’ve just got a white right to do whatever you want with this entire other human person’s body

“we’re sorry you’re anxious that we’re codifying our hatred for you into law. we’re NOT sorry that we’re codifying our hatred for you into law.”

right, like, i was a little concerned when i read the post title, because the first ‘dating preference’ that comes to my gay male mind is the ever present ‘masc only’, which seems like a sign of ignorance. (as i hoped/expected, monique had a good and appropriate take, of course.)

i would love to have anyone anywhere explain to me why four cops couldn’t have just restrained this unarmed teenager without having to strike him. literally, any halfway decent explanation. would *love* to hear it, if it existed.

he paid those boys to, uh, mow his lawn

but like