#148 - the C in CTE stands for ‘chronic’. if you get a concussion once a month for ten years, yes. if you get a concussion once, no.

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snooty was the one that really upset me. thinking about the poor guy getting stuck somewhere, trying to find air and never getting to it. RIP snooty!

frangelico.

i mean, darryl was them-y enough to have a big cameo in the simpsons, at one point. admittedly that point was, what, 20 years ago? but i support his inclusion.

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i mean, imagine. not just eating solid food, but doing so in the presence of your future in-laws! quelle surprise

in 2007 i had not yet discovered jezebel dot com. that year on spring break i flew out to new york city to spend the week with a handsome young fellow i had met on the internet the previous autumn. i graduated college that summer and flew out to live with him for a bit until i found my own place. we just got married…

okay but for real? for the first time in my life i have got myself a really nice one, and my god. worth every fuckin’ penny, pun fully intended.

this motherfucker probably heard that convicts had been registered to vote and assumed that was illegal, because for an erstwhile lawyer, he sure doesn’t seem to care a whole lot about what the law actually is

“no, it’s fine. a lot of people have work done - my aunt, my sister, my cousin. it’s just usually they wanted to look more mature and sexy, but i get this for you. it really matches your whole ‘american girl doll come to life’ fashion choices, too.”

“have you considered having some work done? ...oh, you have? and this is the result? okay... cool.”

i will say that my man’s experience has been kind of the opposite of docknock’s - indicas tend to make him paranoid, whereas sativas alleviate his anxiety. he has some obsessive features to his anxiety and i think the sativa helps him break or move on from those obsessive thoughts in a way that indicas don’t.

would it be better if these talented ladies had their own franchise?

the group is called fifth harmony because originally there were five, but one has already broken out for a solo act, leaving them with four. rather than change the name, they’re now a four-person fifth harmony. so one fourth of the band is one member.

i feel like aliens coming and subjugating us is our last, best hope for living in a post-scarcity luxury gay space communist utopia, at this point

he’s locked into his lease agreement with the current trophy wife. watch and see if, as soon as he oozes his way on out the white house, he doesn’t try and trade in for a younger model.

i don’t have kids myself, but to me that looks like the face of a toddler whose cooperation has been purchased with the promise that she can shout one rude word as soon as they get a good photo

at this point i think humanity’s best chance is to be subjugated by well-meaning aliens and forced to live in a post-scarcity utopia. i don’t like our odds of ever making it there on our own.