java the corgi has been the prince of my heart for over a year now:

it’s a paper-thin excuse, but that used to be enough. if we’re lucky _X,, it won’t be enough anymore.

what about assigned-seating theaters with those giant cushy recliners? those still aren’t great for me because i am several inches taller than they were designed to accommodate, but it helps, and you would really appreciate seeing this one in a theater, i think.

our buddy mel ‘raped by a pack of n-’ gibson lost a couple years, if you wanna use that as a benchmark

the thing that’s always driven to the top of my mind when one of these scumlords insists on responding with such transparent, flimsy bullshit is that these sexual assaults aren’t done out of desire or lust for the woman or man being assaulted - it’s the simple fact of the power the assaulter has over their victim in…

i almost hooted in the middle of my office at ‘i should have done it phonetically’

mother fuck me, what person has a 90,000$ suv, but they need a global network of satellites to keep track of the key? if i had a single possession that valuable, i.e. worth more than the entirety of everything else i currently own, you can bet i would be able to bunny colvin-style tell you exactly where that fucker is…

no, what would be amazing is if this chode fell into a sinkhole full of angry scorpions

i am here for questions. feel free to drop a line.

inhaling practice could be helpful. a former roommate suggested that every time you take a hit, gasp and say, ‘my mother is coming!’ this is to heighten the authenticity of the gasp, which is one good way to make sure it’s reaching your lungs. (for this reason it’s a good idea to have some water on hand - helps soothe…

they could. science is amazing. they can take donor eggs from two women, remove the nucleic dna from both, combine it in vitro, and then reinsert the dna into another egg cell and culture that into an embryo, which is then implanted as normal for in vitro fertilization.

semi-related note, but the gentleman from your stock photo can give me the flu all day if he wants, as well as anything else he’s in the mood for...

so we’re just calling bella a supermodel now? model, sure. famous model, i’ll give you.

why do you have to dunk on stephen so hard, though

well fuck

i mean, no. they’re not. they’ve put their full faith and credit behind a guy who so routinely gropes kids that he’s famous for it in his hometown, and their voters are 100% here for it. kinda seems like they could run a paterno/fogle ticket in 2020 and have decent odds.

that gif, on its own, is the reason the graphics interchange format was created

i don’t think he’s ever even seen one