i need to come up with a new cologne. up to now, my go-to was, no joke, eau my. but that’s ruined now, so i’ll have to find a replacement.

bobby, i think you need to rewatch the suzanne somers part and check to see if she’s blinking morse code...?

no, but literally, watch him like a hawk, because being a kennedy, he’s highly susceptible to some final destination-type shenanigans

goddamn. we could never have kept her - she’s too good.

pretty sure i have the same mop bucket as dear old kellyanne, but why she chose to wear it on her head is a mystery to me

i wish i could agree that his career was over, but we’re still out here giving mel goddamned gibson movie roles, and director’s chairs

i know i’m ten days late, but

late to the party, as always, but i’ll take any opportunity for a cowboy bebop gif:

it’s the curse of pele. traditional hawaiian mythology is very complex and i know only a very small amount, so let me not overstep my bounds too much, but one of the main things the goddess pele presides over is volcanism, and as such she’s sort of the mother of the entire island chain. the traditional hawaiian…

two apartments back, the bedroom door was freshly re-(over-)painted right before we leased it, so if you shoved it all the way closed, the sticky paint would make a loud CRACK when you finally opened it. my guy was working an office job and on the bus, so early to bed, early to rise, but I was working a somewhat later…

i’ve been staring at a blank comment box for ten minutes debating whether to reshare my tale, so i guess i’d better just get it out so i can get on with reading these awesome scary stories. i’ve related it each of the past two years, i.e. every october since i moved into the house i live in now, and every year i have…

that’s outrageous to compare a seasoned professional with years of competent experience and a broad set of useful skills to lord babyhands

waitwaitwait.... the scary stories post was opened... on the 12th... when i was home all week... and......... i missed it?

i had to finally get a text-replacement extension for my firefox and now the words ‘ivanka trump’ are replaced with ‘that venal sundowning orange monster’s daughterbride’

it’s supposed to make them better than fat women. it’s supposed to give them a better life. that’s what they were told they would get. i guess they just didn’t realize that it was all lies and the actual purpose it serves is not to help or benefit them, but for men.

$120. the “replacement cost” of 8 standard-size paperbacks, which they did not reduce even though i brought them back.

that’s nicer than the time our local library sent my overdue fines to collections