I couldn't care less if my server is friendly. Just don't be that server who refuses to write down orders, because your memory is so great, and then you screw up my "no tomato" request. Carry a note pad, write down my order, don't be a dick, that's really all I ask and you'll get your 20%.

Just one time, can we have a reporter who is on his last day before retirement attend a press conference of one of these smug, arrogant fucking coaches and just let said reporter go OFF on the coach that gives the insulting answer of "ask an intelligent question" and "because I said so".

In "not sure" guy's defense, his previous experience with a cougar living on his property left him with some great sexual experiences, but also a case of herpes.

I've told the world cup skiing organizers for years, "don't put razor blades up and down the slalom gates!". Maybe NOW they'll finally listen to me!

So if I'm a public figure and want to have sex with random women, I guess I'm gonna have to carry a couple things: a condom, and $500 cash to hand them after I smash their fucking phone to prevent these types of pictures.

This is deplorable. It's like knowing you want to break up with a girl who is just so annoying, but she's a total freak in bed, so you have sex with her one more time, even though you know you're going to dump her immediately afterward. In other words, we've all pulled an NHL move before.

to be honest, if I was blessed with Gronk's body, I'd probably go to Sunday mass shirtless.

He's in luck! Maricopa County's tent city jail has some lovely ladies just waiting for someone like Mr. Sapp.

I read the obits most days, and unfortunately, it's not a rare occurrence to see 18-30 year olds in there. People in their mid-20's don't just up and die typically, I presume many of them are drug related. Glad to hear you are clean, and good luck to you going forward.

I thought the exact same thing, Carolla's been talking about this TD celebration for years.

Hey cut me some slack, I'm trying my best to get through it all!

So counsel thinks he can insult my intelligence as a juror by saying the object in Hernandez's hand could be an iPad, or 'anything'? Fuck that guy, I'm casting my vote before opening remarks are finished!

"Boogie, I misjudged you in 2010 and i apologize for the misguided prediction I made. Congrats on the strong season you are having, you should have made the all star team."

Subtitle of this photo is Refractory Period.

I'm only half-serious. I feel like large portions of society have lost the notion of 'shame' however, and these cretins need to be held up and publicly shamed for their despicable behavior. Lashes would be optional...

umm, can someone please contact Saudi Arabia and get the details on how they perform their public lashes? I think we need that sort of thing here for these kinds of creeps.

They act like they've never seen Brian Baldinger's finger before!

Salt Lake City seems like an odd place to hold a "Merton Hanks Night"

The tournament seeding committee did a turrible job, Nacho Cheese Doritos came out of a cakewalk bracket!!

I don't follow hockey that closely, but do ANY of these guys wear mouthpieces? Hell I wear a mouthpiece playing rec league basketball, does kinda suck, but not as much as seeing my chiclets getting knocked on the floor.