Have you SEEN an average American lately?

Olive Gaggin’...”When you’re here, you clearly have given up”.

Somewhere, Darwin is wearing a great big smile...

If the cart scans as you shop while also directing you from your list...I’ll put up with the games.  Anything to make the shopping experience more efficient I am down for.  If you can add items “...on the fly...” when inspiration hits (you see a sale on something that needs additional ingredients, for example) this…

Hey those Merrills are my daily drivers at work...I walk easily 10k steps every day and have worn Merrills almost exclusively for the last 20 years. Tried a few others...none are as comfortable or as long-wearing.

I’ve looked into abyss and seen my reflection...

I’d rather wait in a line to preserve a job. But the Aldi I go to rarely has human checkers so it’s not an option.

Maybe a little appearance by one of the few good things to come out of Indiana? That would be a cool Easter Egg, having a Vonnegut sighting but...the firebombing of tens of thousands of civilians probably isn’t the right time for fan service. 

The four bars don’t do sandwiches to-go?

“...clearly of age...”.

I have never been to a Chipotle so I cannot comment...and frankly most of the others it has been a while and only because I was in a group of people and didn’t want to be “...that guy...” who insists on a non-chain. 

I can see the elastic waistbands of Midwestern Americans expanding already...

Easy...the enemy in WWII was able to be (rightfully) painted as evil in the case of Hitler, and (wrongfully) “othered” in the case of the Japanese (Though Nanking and Manchuria have a good case for calling them evil as well). Modern wars have the attendant media and personal coverage that is immediate - we SEE the…

They have the sausage biscuit and sausage muffin for about $1.29 (the only thing I order from there, and only when on the road and it’s the only choice) but I remember live and in person there still being a handful of options for $2 and under...

Was a joke...sometimes buying lunch is the only option.  We’ve all been there...

Once the locals are out of business Subway will raise prices and price you out there as well. Eat out less often, and do it better and locally. Subway doesn’t even have real bread...and their cold cuts are low-quality.

20 minutes to drive on a lunch break gets a pass...

This is what happens when you patronize a chain restaurant - they gradually kill the locals by using the miracle of supply chains and buying in bulk to keep prices lower than their competitors...until they are gone...then they drop the quality and raise the price and keep their image fresh with hot garbage like these…

I usually shop two or three stores, bakery or butcher, farmers market and then because there are no locally owned grocers a big chain store because there are things you just can no longer get locally.  Which sucks, but sucking does not make it less a reality.  I could spend all day shopping and eventually get almost…

Don’t know if Aldi already does this but...the last few times I went there and bought beer no one checked my ID, and no one was in the vicinity actually...the help light never even flickered it just let me keep scanning and bagging.