The boy and I are being pretty boring - Dread Pirate Roberts and Princess Buttercup - but only because we don't have the time to make STEAMPUNK GOTH CYBERPUNK COSPLAY MASHUP versions. (kidding. I am so sick of anachronistic mashups.)

Our dawgs are going to be "Red Riding Hood" (the pit bull), "Granny Wolf" (the doodle)…

Ugh, I hate meeting someone through the internet, or anywhere, and they suddenly decide we are on "hugging" terms. Since when does everyone need to hug everyone??

This is so cute, I had to google the red panda, just to learn more. In some cruel world, they have deemed this the "Lesser Panda" - which is just wrong. CLEARLY the red panda is the greater panda.

Also, there are others who call it the "Red Cat-Bear" which is basically just winning perfection all around.

Thank all that is holy that I am married. May I never have to be dating again.

Julie Andrews spoke at my college graduation. <3 <3

Don't forget, JeffCo is the wonderfully split county that represents people who voted for Bob Beauprez AND Tom Tancredo, AND the home of Columbine HS.

All American Dog - the American Pit Bull Terrier!!

I have two pit mixes, and a doodle. Pits are the best. I do love me some eastern european dogs though, like the Vizla.

You can't call them out, but you can learn to play their game. That's something I never *quite* picked up, but I have seen it done well. The skill I learned best from the ladies in my family was "talk about them when they aren't around."

My cousin, on the other hand, picked up that searing complimentary insult thing…

See, that sort of thing, the subtle diss/no right answer - I would feel right at home. My grandmother's family were eastern european immigrants who were migrant workers in the midwest. There's so much beautiful judgment wrapped up in a simple conversation or question. Like when my mom decided to go back to school to…

I absolutely detest Garrison Keilor. He sounds like a movie construction of a pedophile with his heavy mouth breathing and drawn out stories.

Aw heck yeah. I love Slack.

This is exactly the clothing I need to wear around my office, which is essentially my dining room, in a house with few doors and many dogs and cats, where I work at home all the live long day. Exactly the clothing I need. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

Iceland is seriously the BEST place EVER. I can say this with authority, because I have been there, like, once, for 2 days, and then another time, for like 3 hours, but they are SO NICE and on Icelandair you have seat back USB plugs to charge your devices. SO WONDERFUL. MUCH THOUGHTFUL. VERY ICELAND.

I had a PERFECT name picked out (even wore it for a halloween costume in my early derby days) but I just couldn't commit to the derby thing for myself.

I have a glass desk, and I love it. I wanted white furniture, but the style my husband wanted (we share an office) was not available in white, and the Ikea white stuff is a little chintzy looking IRL.

I would describe my self as aspirationally obsessive - I love white furniture, minimal spaces, and clean lines. I live…

Oh, I'm team Gwen all the way. We just watched this, and I was like "Man, I wanna be Gwen's friend. We would hang out. Raid each other's closets. Do lip sync battles in our jammies while drinking martinis, and I would perform Holla Back Girl" and she would totally be a fan of me, because she's just that nice. I know…

I would totally wear this dress. I've had a thing for Watteau trains MY WHOLE LIFE. Nevermind that my actual wedding dress was totally not glittery, capey, drapey, or anything. (It was actually quite lovely and simple and I still love it and want to wear it every day.)

The breadsticks have *definitely* gone down hill, but there is a certain demographic for which the OG (can they PLEASE change their name to that?!?) is *Fancy Shit*.

Two stories, briefly:

My family lives in a small exurb 70 miles from a major city. Olive Garden is the fanciest chain there, of not many chain…

Smooth Move Tea. I'll just leave it at that. #notquite40 #dammit #agesucksman

I mean, I knew better than to think anyone on Nerve would be all sunshine and happiness, but some of these were just like....W. T. F.

But yeah - the instant response cycle, being able to see people are online, etc. makes it so much more stalkery. In the old days, you had to actually get up out of your chair to be a…