As general rule, I just can't with people who own any WS that wasn't gifted to them or won at a tricky tray/as a door prize somewhere. And there's nothing sadder than we regular folk trying to emulate Martha. Sidenote: I miss Ana Gasteyer's Martha impersonations....

You, too! And try not to scare your children with overly ambitious, festive desserts! This is why they invented Entenmann's.....

Haaaaaa. Add this one to my own cancer survivor Mom's greatest holiday hits: the year she accidentally put (delicious) foil covered chocolate dreidels in out stockings thinking they were "whimsical old fashoned toys like tops." Despite the Hebrew letters imprinted on the blue and silver foil..... she's the best.

Yes, she is ten years strong. It was bad. She defied statistics. We are so fn lucky. (Thanks for the nice words.) Ha! A story about parental sexxxay times would not wind up under the Hater's Guide to WS. Not to mention, those going through chemo barely have strength to keep up with daily routines, if at all. We still…

The Christmas my mom was in chemo, I arrived at the parental homestead, gifts in hand to find no one there to greet me. Which was scary at first, given that all I did was worry about her 24/7. Turns out she and my father were in the spare room frantically cleaning up the murder-scene-ish mess that happened after Mom…

Why the freak is this comment languishing in the grays when it's so awesome? I salute you, lady, and your lawn jockey Santa in white face after a bender. #neverforget

Spot- on as always. You, sir, are a national treasure.

Truly, Jezebel should start filing any and all stories like this to "Romeo Rose-ish" He is the all-time King of Creeps.

Perhaps he has re-invented his creeping to be more inclusive and diverse!

Romeo Rose, is that yooooooou?

I've done the master cleanse and it was crazy and super challenging (I did the minimum 10 days) and I have to say I felt like and looked like a brand new person at the end. Naturally, I went right back to my regular diet so look of renewal was short lived. But man, I felt like I accomplished something and I was…

Ha, ha, yessssssssss!

Goodness, someone needs to start mass producing this image in velvet, stat! Anyone else getting a George Costanza lounging in his boxers on a chaise lounge vibe from this???

I've worked with the folks at Heartland. They are a wonderful (non-racist) bunch so I personally think this might be an inaccurate assumption to make. I think the owner could have been more articulate and thoughtful in his response. As for the connection between racism and the design of the glasses, in my mind, given…

You know how they say kids usually rebel by having the exact opposite political and social beliefs of their parents? In my head, I am picturing that this pathetic woman's parents are peace loving hippie freaks who blaze up the second they see her name pop up on their caller id. And that they laughed when she told them…

I met BUB last year and can attest that it was truly a spiritual experience. And her dude could not have been nicer. Total class act.

No standards. That's how.

This is the first Thanksgiving I won't miss my ex's family who threw such fabulous Thanksgivings (meal and camaraderie wise) because I know I would have lost my shit if his racist uncle said one word about this case.

I've never had problems with anyone on any post and my comments are regularly recommended to others, so you can just go fuck yourself gently with a chainsaw. Kisses!

People have asked me why I don't theme these posts, and all I can say: could you theme a rainbow, or the passage of time? I have no fucking idea, but I wouldn't be surprised at this point to see a Yelper actually ask that question.