Quite aware. I have the Amex Platinum Delta SkyMiles card. My annual fee is $195.

I’m going to a bunch of weddings at the end of the summer, in LA, Dallas, and Chicago. I had to buy tickets for all of those from Atlanta. It cost me $450 to traverse the country 3 times, round trip.

Djokovic grew up in war torn Serbia practising on courts only when the surrounding area had been bombed the previous night, figuring that bombs wouldn’t drop in the same area two nights in a row.

Tennis players earn money based on the number of matches they WIN in each tournament. They don’t have contracts that dictate their annual pay, whether on not they step foot on the court. For that reason alone, they are allowed to call other athletes soft.

This one time I walked in on my husband and some hooker going at it in the back of his van. They were doing some freaky stuff and had this dildo hard-wired through the seat or some crazy crap. What a bastard! I pulled out my gun and fired 8 shots. 6 shots put holes in the van and I have no idea where the other 2 went.

Ask Monica Seles what she thinks about fans running up behind the players without security intervening.

As with current lineup of ‘infotainment’ in cars, whether this works or not will depend on the quality of implementation and integration with the rest of the car.

Indeed, though I was merely referring to the fact that even though he downplays this car (which, in my experience, is actually a pretty great driver’s car), a manual gearbox is all one needs for a truly happy life

I was a complete asshole about this. Not publicly, but just imbibing from my ceaseless well of toxic cynicism. I was an asshole, a wrong, ignorant asshole. Bruce Jenner’s a hero. More so than in 1978.

(For anyone who doesn’t know, that’s Queer As Folk, the original UK version)

Subway Sucks

It's too good that this story begins: "I went on a trip to Nantucket". Need to work on making the rest rhyme, though.

Wait, a pro golfer who doesn't live in Florida or Texas?

Schroedinger's pet service? You'll know where it is, but not whether it's alive or dead. At least they're complying with Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.

I don't know where to put my penis in.

“his name is 24-year-old Carlos Ramirez.”

This is so gloriously dumb I had to star it. Congrats.

I believe it is a business owners' right to refuse service and to do business as they see fit.

Sorry to have the facts rain on your parade, but you are wrong (thanks, Slate!)...

It’s not an anti-gay law Tom. It’s just pro-allowing people to be anti-gay.