This story reminds me of my Grandpa’s Lent tradition. He was a cigarette smoker and every lent he would give up smoking cigarettes for Lent... and smoke his pipe. Professional Catholicism right there.

I am convinced that if I don’t drink coffee every day, I would never poop.

I’m putting $10 on Tiger banging that kid’s mom for revenge.

Amazing shot, amazing story. Maybe this will get more white kids to play golf.

Totally. Two random girls working in a gym is a good representative sample of an entire region’s sports knowledge. Based on my recent conversation with the hostess at the Cheesecake Factory, Washington doesn’t know shit about the Redskins.

This incident is Chancellor’s fault for not wearing his #31 jersey and a football helmet.

“Not young enough” -Jerry Sandusky

Playing for the Brewers for a couple of years should clear this right up.

I think that’s a back massager.

The dick is telling reporter about his plane.

Why is it that the interior of every private plane, no matter how expensive, ends up looking like a 1985 Starcraft van conversion?

That’s a pretty civil response.

I think I can speak for everyone here when I say, “I’m not reading that.”

You’d be a terrible terrible person if you quit eating pig, and the terrorists will have won.

WARNING: Controversial opinion follows. As a young woman who doesn’t want kids, I honestly have no feelings either way about where women go to pump. I do, however, wish I didn’t always have to fucking hear about it. For example, until recently I worked with a new mom who couldn’t get through a single goddamn day…

Pumping every hour is actually unsual, except at the very beginning to stimulate milk production. I usually pumped every 3-4 hours.

Whats the bullshit? I literally am getting one of these. Go drive your Aztec.

Agreed. Everyone else can dive for the Thin Mints, which are fine and all, but give me a box of Somoas and a box of Tagalongs and I’m a happy girl. Give me two and I’m ecstatic. Three and I’m bloated.