I subsisted an entire summer on two 99 cent frozen pizzas slammed unnaturally together to form a sandwich. The frozen pizza as medium is greatly under appreciated. Same for Ramen. Fuck I was poor.

I hate to say it, but the solution is - buy better bath towels. Seriously, go to like a JC Penney’s, or Kohls, or whatever (NOT Wal-mart FFS), find their bath towels, and find the good, big, fluffy ones. They’re worth the extra $, and don’t feel like (and are way bigger than) crap hotel towels.

You sound like someone who spends a lot of his Sundays in craft stores.

that’s an incredibly lame reason to learn a language

When I first moved in with my now wife she insisted I stop folding frozen pizzas in half and eating them taco-style. My thought is why dirty a plate or pizza cutter/knife?

Like I needed an excuse to post this:

Wait until he sees the full list of things he can’t do any longer.

I think there’s a difference between “you’re naked, therefore you like sex and are a slut” and “there is no reason to show us your naked body under the flimsy pretext of not knowing what to wear as anyone who cares to see you naked has already done so”.

The best response was from some guy on Twitter who said if Kim really wants to shock everyone, she should post a picture of herself reading a book.

I’m not even going to try to top this.

Kanye’s been living in the house bought by the video of another man’s penis destroying his wife’s ass.

Man, if only people were as excited to pay for meds and wells in Africa, or homelessness relief groups, or the refuge situation.

Savvy? She was born into a rich family, where she got rich from having a tv crew follow her around as she lived a rich person’s life, where she used her popularity to have someone create a shitty, micro-transaction app.

She’s not savvy, people are just incredibly stupid and love celebrities wayyy too much.

‘Murica.

Anybody who own real estates and pay property taxes would hardly consider the existence of special districts “obscure.”

And fire departments spending budget funds on fireworks is not really that weird. The Aston fire department puts on a pretty good display every July 4th weekend and I lived just up the street from the firehouse.

Don’t be the “Why aren’t you drinking?” guy at the bar who won’t let it go. There’s always one and he’s an asshole. Sample quotes:

There’s no way Fresh Choice isn’t the name of the section with the sad prepackaged wraps inside a gas station.

You would have had to create a separate entry for the IHOP that was in Center City Philadelphia.

Really? What do you think of Red Lobster biscuits? They are amazing.