Whatever man. Having a bunch or really insanely nice and cool cars doesn’t mean you have a small dick. I’m sick of this shit. I drive a really awful car and my dick is small and bad.

Pat Tillman showing up for practice.

I just adapted mine own “Gen-X scoff” reserved for poseurs who only became aware of the Meat Puppets because of Nirvana’s unplugged performance.

I Googled “millennial scoff” and I am pretty sure you just coined the phrase. Bravo. Its use here as narrative stage direction is a most perfectly derisive way of referring to something that is itself so perfectly derisive.

As an Eagles fan, I can tell you this:
Bill Belichick plays chess. Well.
Andy Reid plays checkers. Well. But very slowly and methodically.
Chip just plays checkers. Fast. Poorly.

Mathis went on to say, “everybody knows that donkeysauce is just mayo and bbq sauce and that shit is never going to get you a ticket to Flavortown.”

(millennial scoff) “I’ve seen baggier shirts with more flames”

Can’t help but feel like I would rather it was another game that was finally available to play because of the art on top....

It’s like Alien vs. Predator but Legionnaire’s vs. Gonnorhea.

That’s a start, Alexi. Now apologize for your solo music career, and we can move past this.

I’ve seen some ugly results due to the stuff, so in my book being around it is kind of like hanging around an amateur chainsaw juggler.

One of the most liberating things I learned as a young chap in the world of dating was to discover I could break it off, both verbally and emotionally, with girls at the drop of a hat as soon as I saw something I wasn’t ok with.

The only thing dirtier than the water

The U.S. will send 48 rowers to Rio, they will be as forewarned and forearmed as the federation can make them

Not only were the trials on Saturday, there were actually 169 men racing on that day:

Dude, we all celebrate your running prowess, but you gotta look up “casual” in the dictionary. That’s an 8:36/mile pace. If you are running a marathon in less than four hours, you are — by definition — more than a casual runner.

The Stonyness of the Long Distance Runner

Still hate this. These are funbag questions most of us will be denied because there’s no way in hell we’re listening to a podcast.

I spray my comforter down with Lysol

Bill should just make eggs for the whole family. It’s the 2010s, man.