Take your star sir.

I’ll clap for this post.

“Wait, wait, who’s that running on the field? Who’s music is that? IT’S KAP! IT’S KAP! BAH GWAD KING, IT’S KAP!”

Thank god no one can accuse Cowher of abandoning his craft of riding glory achieved when Kaep was in grade school to fatass paychecks doing jack fucking shit and otherwise talking out the weak side of his mustache.

Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

People love it when black guys break into places and start doing whatever they want, right?

“Don’t let the contract stand in the way,” Cowher added. “If you play, you will get paid ... Colin, prove me wrong.”

Says the guy who quit the league to take a cushy studio job.

No worries. You’re doing great work. I’ve been enjoying the weekend reading since you got the gig.

This is a downer.

It’s a shame they have to wait until week 2 to unveil the banner for throwing 2 TDs.

Jim Irsay bumming all of Luck’s pain pills isn’t helping matters either.

I wish I could give your username more stars.

Here’s what needs to happen: The NFL and the Federal Court System needs to find sponsors for a special series of judges.

The commissioner’s office released the following statement: “If there’s a more impartial way to decide these things than with a Magic 8 Ball, then I’d love it if the judge would share.”

It’s just a regular bribe. Federal judge appointments are for life so you don’t have to dance around it.

you contaminate the environment every time you post something on the internet

There’s a big difference between (A) being able to detect contaminant such-and-thus, and (B) the level of such-and-thus being high enough to merit worrying about.

For plastic fragments on the scale they’re fear-mongering about— ten microns and below— no.

Your first mistake was reading Twitter. :)