George Lopez is generally as funny as an open wound on your asshole (though he gets bonus points for openly acknowledging that Carlos Mencia was a joke thief), but also fuck anyone who stands up in an audience and tries to make it about them. “Audience.” From the Latin for “listen.”

The Texans with Romo could be a legitimate big deal.

Yup, that’s a jacked up grille.

I assume the cop kept his pants on. See, that’s where you went wrong.

As previously noted, a telltale sign that you are willfully marching right off the plank and into the abyss is when you’ve convinced yourself that Kyle Shanahan is a thing you want as opposed to a thing that happens to you (like diarrhea or the flu) and that him having full control of your team’s future means anything…

A telltale sign that you are willfully marching right off the plank and into the abyss is when you’ve convinced yourself that Kyle Shanahan is a thing you want as opposed to a thing that happens to you (like diarrhea or the flu) and that him having full control of your team’s future means anything other than a…

The actual secession itself WOULD be peaceful.

Any time you want to put your mind to it.

“The utility company responsible for lighting the Maracanã pulled the plug last week over some $940,000 in unpaid bills (that’s 3 million Brazilian Reals).”

Actually, under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act, Trump can theoretically declare Mexico a threat to the country’s safety/stability, declare seizure of any and all remittance payments to help pay for his wall as the measure needed to combat that threat and hold unilateral power over declaring when that…

Actually, under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act, Trump can theoretically declare Mexico a threat to the country’s safety/stability, declare seizure of any and all remittance payments to help pay for his wall as the measure needed to combat that threat and hold unilateral power over declaring when that…

Actually, under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act, Trump can theoretically declare Mexico a threat to the country’s safety/stability, declare seizure of any and all remittance payments to help pay for his wall as the measure needed to combat that threat and hold unilateral power over declaring when that…

Interestingly enough, Drury received a phone call today from Rex Ryan inquiring about any coaching vacancies.

Expecting democrats to exhibit spine is like expecting ice not to melt.

Yup. The mean, vain and popular girls generally live in a prolonged adolescence and coast on their looks until, oh, let’s say 30 (or until they get pregnant). From there, it’s a harried and increasingly desperate rush full of more makeup than a circus clown to hide more rings than an oak tree while desperately trying…

*door flies open*

La La Land doesn’t need to be a good movie. It’s a movie set against the backdrop of Los Angeles, that wonderful, wild, wacky, bewildering, bewitching, befuddling, magical, magestic, maddening jewel of the west coast. Oh, what CRAZY things can happen in Los Angeles!

“I hope you white women show up at the next BLM rally, too, but FUCK YOU YOU VOTED TRUMP (OR SOMEONE YOUR SKIN COLOR DID, WHICH IS THE SAME THING*).”

So, like, you call your dad “grandpa?”

Because my wife is not my mother, I am not her father and it’s important for kids to understand that different people have different relationships to other people and what they call them is part of that.