And it could all be called “hosiery,” alongside men’s socks (and garters).

Well, I never tried to define nylons, but the Internet seems split at best on them being the same as “pantyhose.”

Those are two different things:

This.

What do you call them? “Nylons” is for old ass women who haven’t retired from the office yet and “thigh-highs” just sounds weird.

And your lady friends are most likely thinking “well, this caveman fuck better be happy with sweatpants and flip flops, because fuck me if I’m gonna bother putting any work in for him from now on.”

I’m with you. Boots that aren’t workboots should be up to the mid-calf minimum.

Unlike toys, though, the women actually spend time wrapping themselves and like it when you show some appreciation for the job they did.

It’s the week between Christmas and New Year’s. 2/3 of the country isn’t even working.

The same reason people wear Ugg boots, short skirts and sweatshirts.

That is one act that is NEVER a waste of time. The unwrapping of two sexy legs and pedicured feet from stockings is to be treasured. It’s as close to the childlike joy one experienced opening presents on Christmas morning as an adult can come.

“Do people get texts on their iPads?”

Yup.

Just her career is.

If it had pesto aioli on it, I mean, I get it.

A smart man is smart enough to know how dumb he is.

I think the days of assassinating our own are long gone, if we ever lived in them at all.

Nah. Trump voters are split more or less into two camps: racist morons and poor uneducated whites. The racists are in his pocket forever. The poors who are still gonna lose their jobs aren’t violent.

Nobody killed Obama. There weren’t even any real attempts that got off the ground.