Drunk driving is one of the few criminal charges that's pretty black and white. You're a shitbag if you choose to drink and drive. 

I mean, was there any other legit star on that 2000 team, who was also a known asshole?

+1 unqualified trump appointee.

I guess we’ll have to take their word for it that Kim Jong Un scored 10 goals, 5 touchdowns, 8 homeruns and 15 wickets.

“Always remember, hockey is not about winning, it’s always about fun.”

Even worse is having live audiences. It means they just as often go for applause lines. 

He thinks the carpet pissers did this?

IMPORTANT PRO TIP: Eat the big sandwich BEFORE you put on the dress shirt and tie.

Smart, clever and irritating. But face it: the main thing people don’t like about Marchand is that he...and his 100 POINTS...doesn’t play for YOUR TEAM.

Bulgaria is fucked up beyond just racism. I’ve seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Really they shouldn’t be hosting any international soccer games until they retire the child catcher. 

Can’t wait for the ineveitable all season long comparisons of Lucic and Neal.

Settle a score in my office. You’re typing and realize you misspelled something. Do you…

Walking, biking, public transit are all viable options for getting around a city, especially New York.

For the sake of his sister’s health, let’s hope the Jets don’t tie on Sunday.

Well they aren’t wrong...

Exactly- we’re supposed to worship at that altar of wall street capitalism because it’s so rational and efficient. The reality is a few spoiled brat bros who aren’t “feeling it” can tip the market to the tune of hundreds of billions of dollars.

Gosh it’s almost like we the American people should start demanding potential Presidential candidates add a “reduce the power of the executive branch” plank to their platform.

I, for one, welcome our new Hezbollah overlords.

Yes, if he loses the election and then declares he is not leaving the White House because he feels the election was not fair, then it gets interesting.