You can’t do 17 deer in 60 seconds with a semi-automatic? You suck.

I’d save all that search time and just cut the supports and watch it fall into the park. 

I definitely noticed the hot bitch on the bed. 

I know, when it came out I was saying “god it’s so obvious and on-the-nose”. In the years since then, I’m thinking ok we are actually getting pretty close. 

That was way cooler than this is. 

These fuckers have gotten into my head so much, after reading this I thought “maybe I will have a 9/11 party just to show them.”

Come back to Chicago, Dustin. We love remembering some guys. The team will overpay you for the nostalgia factor and selling a buncha more Byfuglien jerseys. The Blackhawks are all about style over substance now, so it fits perfectly.

I like to take the skyway because for the few minutes I can see all the shitty refineries and steel plants, I feel like I’m in a Blade Runner movie.

Jerry Nadler lookin like a Rankin/Bass puppet.

They need to add a “shuffle” feature for shows like Seinfeld. I’ve seen them all, and I’m just looking for something to be on for a few minutes in the background. Gimme a random episode, don’t make me pick one. 

Agree. Also I think we should be able to enjoy art without having to fully approve and agree with the artist. Plenty of good work out there made by bad people.

The trick is to pay for one good VPN and steal all the TV shows.

I would have laughed

If good guys with BB guns were allowed in Chicago this would never be an issue. 

You can’t really feel sorry for someone who’s job is to beg everyone in the league for information to tweet.

I like how these people get to pretend that the left is so dangerous and prone to violence. Never mind that they are just slowly poisoning the planet and starving the non-elites.

I don't think the government should be telling people what they can and can't smoke.

Right away I thought Tampa Bay Lightning but then I remembered they were the best team for the entire last season and then got swept in the first round of the playoffs.

Yeah, but the driver was also vaping cotton candy.

My son and I, trying to cross the street yesterday, almost got run over by a car because the driver was looking at his phone. Glad all these lawmakers are focusing on the real risks.