Splinter should do Why Your Team Sucks on every cable news channel. Not that anyone here actually watches cable news but still it would be amusing. 

or the sick, mentally ill, or poor. 

Uh.. just grab a girl from the waiting room and wrap her head in gauze.

Yeah I’m assuming his people went around and found survivors who would be friendly. I would have said “hell yeah I’ll take a picture with Mr. President” then thrown my bedpan on him when he got close. 

Plus then you miss out on the opportunity to call people “Full-kit Wankers”. I like the expression so much, I call my kids that when they’re wearing the matching shorts.

“self improvement is masturbation”

Instagrammable cocktails on an exclusive rooftop. 

Hamno but ghost written by Tyler Durden. 

Rich people who think donating $75 to Obama’s election campaign alleviated allllllll of the damage their economic activity does to everyone else. 

It's kind of a job for her too. Survive for several years then divorce his ass and take half of that sweet head coach money.

After 10 PM mine will only alert for immediate famiky but these people are too dumb to set up a screening system like that.

Did you make this comment before the president dropped Antifa in one of his dumb ass speeches today?

Thanks for the great read, Roberto. I’ve been looking for a good Liga Mx jersey to wear and after reading this, thought I should check out FC Juarez. Man, they’re ugly. Can’t do it. 

Big mistake, you’ll be hearing the choppers any minute now. 

Rosemont

I mean I’m not literally sad about it. But yes, college hockey is good and it would be nice if Northwestern or whoever actually had a legit team.

Yeah you’ve got to support your team. And if you move, you’ve got to support your new team.

I was driving into a parking lot outside a minor league baseball stadium near Chicago (not a hotbed of what Fox News considers patriotism) and saw a couple of guys walking up to the stadium. When the anthem started, they stopped walking, removed hats, and put hands over their hearts. I was so glad to be not in the…

Yeah that must be even more annoying because people zip up to Milwaukee to go to games instead of Wrigley.

So your point is that democracy is a failure?