I’d say put it next to the Creationism Museum or the re-built totally historically-accurate Noah’s Ark. Both in Kentucky.

No, no, no, no, no, certainly not. While he certainly violates that clause and many other rules, having the brainwashed support of less than half the country somehow means he is untouchable. 

Your mom is a horde.

No matter how much SNL has sucked during the Keenan years, he was always good.

I’m sorry but in this matchup, Brazil should get yellow.

He’s really trying to be mr big stick around the world. I hope rest of the world is close to telling us to fuck off. For all the damage he’s done, bringing the american empire to a premature end would be a good outcome of this awful period. 

Wow, a skank flank championship tattoo.

What he still won’t admit is that King Triton was also at the meeting with the Prince of Whales. Fucking liar. 

If your body temperature is over 96 degrees DO THIS IMMEDIATELY

I didn’t see the movie but remember Sam Jackson being on Conan when it came out and the both of them saying that line back-to-back. Conan saying in his nerdy voice “it is my DUTY to please that booty!” is basically me trying to talk to women at a party.

What about Narcos: Mexico?

I hope he woke up in the hospital and said “worth it, though”

As if Curt Schilling would ever step foot in the DR. Too dark there.

Just never kick a field goal then? Problem solved. 

It’s definitely that badly-infected gums smell.

You are racist against tigers and sexist against mothers. 

I love this idea that white people being too rich, well-educated, and in love with themselves to have kids as much as non-whites is a genocide. I know many childless white couples in their 30s. Really bringing that genocide about going on vacations and fancy dinners and spending all their money on toys instead of baby…

Buncha stepford wives behind him too.

I’m saving some big ass fireworks for when he dies or loses an election, whichever comes first. I suggest others do the same, it’ll be great.

Well if you put the safety on, you’ll waste valuable seconds when you need to shoot someone!