Come on congress, show up with the guns or STFU. Time to give donald a real coup to complain about. 

There’s a NSFW subreddit for pathetic assholes.
I’ve heard...

But you’re still the one pool where I’d happily drown

Leaves a 0$ tip and a note explaining why he left a 0$ tip. 

And it works fantastically well since he has plenty of people convinced that information from him directly or from fox news is the only reliable information.

What about Puerto Rico?

The only phone I use for voice calls is a workplace desk phone and it happens to be to the left so it goes to my left ear.

Albert Burneko - important person in the world of journalism

Sorry Drew, a Chicago-area Cardinal has just decreed that you may no longer take communion due to your blasphemy in the above writing. Enjoy the rest of your godless life.

Hmm but did you give him the middle aged white man factor?

There’s no reason why the entire game can’t be officiated through video in real-time. You could have one official watching every player on the ice at all times. It’s only because of the old time hockey crowd that they insist on keeping zebras out there and insist on this old-fashioned system.

Yeah we’ll be fine I’m just joking. No shit one time a coworker of mine had someone almost punch him because he skipped over them in the security line. The guy said something and my coworker assumed he was just joking and went ahead through. The guy caught up to him on the other side and tried to get all tough guy. In…

Also probably TV networks don’t like cages because they hide those handsome faces. Well not in Chara’s case...

Ooh I’m flying out of Chicago friday with my spouse and kids and we’re gonna clog the hell out of that pre-check line. Can’t wait to hear the huffs and puffs of whiny frequent flyers.

Pucks can get high

“Our military has more important work to do than making Trump’s wall beautiful.”

I know some good, honest, hard-working painters, unfortunately I don’t think they’ll be a big fan of that border fence...

He must be doing something right because every time I see his name, his face, or anything he writes I briefly want to end my life.

If an infant dies of an easily treatable disease, but its parents are poor, does a conservative shed a tear? Certainly not.

Or at least all their expensive shit should get vandalized