“long list of offenses, which includes felony possession of a loaded firearm in 1996, impersonating a police officer in 2006, and failure to pay child support in 2009.”

Birds don’t crawl-

What’s wrong with being sexy?

And of course you can pay more to skip lines or have access to better restaurants and sitting areas. Like everything else now they have to separate people by spending power.

I was going to say in jest that Hertl should say maybe they have a 48% of winning the series but then I realized that’s actually pretty close to what DeBoer and Couture said. Because hockey players rarely say anything interesting. Because when they do, everyone jumps up their ass like “Can you believe what he said!?”

Sports writers have such a hard-on for guarantees from players. Who cares? And why should anyone on the Sharks care whether Hertl did guarantee a win? They think Vegas is going to try even harder now? Dumb. 

Game of Thrones is pretty similar to the Mueller report though. Both highly overrated and far too much time has been expended talking about them. 

I find the title photo highly inappropriate with that pederast eyeing at that boy.

Yeah what I really wanna know is the song in the movie or not?

Analysts at Raymond James are also saying there’s less than a 1% chance of me showing up drunk at their house and pissing Jameson onto their front steps. We’ll see how accurate that is.

In your dreams, bitch

Obviously if we’re talking Teigan we’re taking ‘bated.

Yeah, Donald’s version: cancel the ACA, free market health care and if you can’t afford it, you die.

Sucks for Joe that it seems like he won’t raise the cup. I lightly root for the Sharks every year in the playoffs and every year I’m surprised how easily they go down. I kinda hope he signs with another team for one year and wins. Unlikely as it is.

No, it looks like a cow with wheels.

I would definitely get sexual reassignment surgery to fulfill one very specific fantasy and then get reassigned again. It’s free, what’s the downside right?

It was a hint of our future fucked-ness when Donald said that during a debate with Hillary and she had zero comeback for it. It’s an idiotic argument and any smart person should be able to knock it out of the air.

Well the good news is that it’s pretty typical now to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on medical care right before a person dies, so inheritance will soon be a thing of the past.

But it will be incredibly luxurious and elite insurance. 

Job creation is the dumbest metric. The government could create plenty of jobs by just paying people to not do anything.