2 YEAR long investigation finds that Donald is an incompetent, corrupt, asshole. Great job FBI.

“asserting he was carrying a gun.”

I like how he goes around to DOE sites like Argonne Laboratory and is shown around the facilities by all the brilliant, hard-working scientists. He pretends to be interested in their research for a couple of hours and then quietly goes and cuts the budgets. Yeaah who needs that shit, Rick?

Oh no, my portfolio! *wanking motion*

None, intellectual property is not a thing in ‘Gina.

How dare you, sir. She worked so hard to get where she is. It’s not easy being a wealthy, attractive woman.

God tells them to not vaccinate their kids but he never takes it all the way and just tells them to go jump off a bridge. You suck, God.

It would be cool if they expunged most of the guns from the police. 

I just imagine an overweight mustached man saying “Laawr and order”

The only correct response would be for MPB to tweet “U wish, Tucker”

He knows every knot, and never has sex. 

There was a dumb ass christian meme going around where a christian asked God why he did not do anything about columbine and god replied something like “I’m not allowed in schools”. That was a flashpoint for me personally as a kid.

One you have a bunch of follower drones you start believing you are good at everything.

That woman in the picture looks like she’s falling straight backwards to get away from him.

It’s code for Blow Jobs

Gary Bettman disagrees

Regular season is not pointless it just has little bearing on the playoffs, which is a separate thing. Regular season is fun, then it ends. Then the playoffs are fun.

No offense, but if I showed this video to some of my buddies at school, it’d definitely be the “Boner of the Month”.

My obvious question is why doesn’t he make his kid play as the Chicago Fire or some shitt team and make himself Juventus? Built-in handicap system.

Then when the kid’s friends come over, someone will have to use the Dad Controller and it will be so sad.