I have a friend whose chronic lateness kept him out of Tower 1 on 9/11. Jerk waited until late in the afternoon to let us know he was OK though.

First time my niece had a piece of chocolate, it was Halloween and she was two, she had a look of pure ecstasy and then shot a dirty look at my brother as if to say, "dude, you've been holding out? What other awesome DON'T I know about?"

Has anyone come up with a Bechdel Test for black/non-white characters in movies? What would it be?

I actually make shoes, and you're right, it is MUCH easier to make a solid last than something with individual toes, but the fact that this convenience makes the resultant hoofy look fashionable while individuating toes is the height of undesirable (unless the toes are bare, as in a sandal), just seems strange to me.

What I'd like to know is when contorting feet into hooves became fashionable. People have five toes (usually) not one single-toed horse-like hoof, why is it so weird to clothe them as such.

David Icke is losing his shit right now...

Facts of Life.

I will be working "Lifetime crazy" into my daily conversation. Thank you.

Is there an app that lets you take a picture of that guy you're meeting from OKCupid that then runs his face against a database of creeps? That would be useful.

That movie is out now, it's called J. Edgar.

It is actually kind of adorable. Can you ride them like ponies?

I think my school district only supplied free bus service through elementary school. I don't remember any horrible traumas other than getting on the wrong bus and being lost or having to sit next to a boy. I either carpooled or walked to our Middle and High School. I'm glad I got to skip that kind of torture.

Umm, ladyfail. Where's your yogurt?

#8. Heat radiates, hot *air* rises. I think this is where people get confused.

The only thing better than Ricky hosting would be if they could convince Karl "head like a fucking orange" Pilkington to do it.

My dog LOVES windy days. Our apartment is at the top of a little hill and is always a little breezier than surrounding areas. He'll stand, nose to wind like a weather vane, and let the air blow back his ears and through his fluffy coat. Sure, I could be freezing, but he looks so happy standing there I can't deny…

So my 13 year old mutt (spaniel/lab/poodle/cthulu) has recently started using a mirror. I have a large, full-length mirror in my livingroom from which one can view the sofa. Lately he will walk right up to it and if I make mirror eye-contact with him, his ears will perk up. If I wiggle my fingers behind him, he will…

...and sugar will disolve cement! I used this product to clean up after a tiling mis-hap.

...in ten seconds flat!

sounds like she lives in a rural area. Just not that many police around.