Yay!!! I love this. I travel to Accra and Shanghai almost every month for work and would love to submit one for another ex-pat post in the future. It would give me a good reason to get out of the hotel/office and have a makeup adventure at the mall.

This is some brave shit.

I can understand why it seems rude to ask for a list of specific things. On its face, it does seem rude. But registry is clearly how you avoid ending up with five toasters when you did not even need one in the first place.

My period is like when the elevators open in The Shining. You can't put the mattress in the washer.

Yeah I'm familiar with the infamous tampon scene. But yanking your lady's tampon out isn't exactly period sex, it's just kind of unsettling. I think it probably made more sense when 50 shades was still unabashed Twilight fanfic because of the whole vampire thing. It makes a lot less sense with a human partner.

UGH the blowjob week idea is beyond annoying to me. Like, let me get this straight—you recognize that my body is doing some funky gross shit that is terribly unpleasant, yet you think that I'm in the mood to selflessly stick your dick in my mouth all week with no expectation of any sort of mutuality? NOOOOOPE.

Oh that scene was VERY rude.

Note: Madeleine also freaked out when Ana's roommate Kate took a sandwich away from Ana and started eating it herself.

CORRECTION: I was not wasted, I'm just disgusting.

This makes me so uncomfortable.

White people names.

Looks like a case of obscene retouching.

Apparently you are not even remotely familiar with Harper Lee. Not sure why you're commenting in that case.

I always wonder why people are so weird.

Ann Summers is my fuckin JAM and also, you win this ridiculously dumb argument, because every fucking British town has one on their high street.

Store managers are requested to monitor stock levels of rope, cable ties, masking tape and duck tape to ensure that supplies do not run low.

Um, pretty common?

I've never flirted at work because I work for my Dad. This is Alabama, not Mississippi.

My shoes were yellow, with a broad kitten heel, and amazingly comfortable. My dress was tea length and we had a backyard wedding, so I needed to be able to walk on grass without my heels sinking in and wanted something colorful and eye-catching. These fit the bill perfectly. The Mr.'s shoes weren't too shabby, either.

These were mine! I got them on super-sale at my bridal salon. I really bought them because of how comfortable they were and I did wear them every minute of my reception and after party. Brides-to- be: do not cut corners on your shoes! A pair of well made shoes that fit you well will go a million miles. I have no many…