This is tough because Harper was/is fun as shit to watch play, but personally insufferable. Dumb and self-righteous and also just dumb as dog shit.

They’re harder to find these days, but New Kid’s Trapper Keeper was always the primo 1st base.

I call my circulatory system the “police station” because it’s clogged with useless globules of fat. 

I also call my circulatory system the “police station,” because it is statistically very likely to kill a young man of color.

It’s like my Gramps used to say, “Darned if you do, Darnold if you don’t...”

Lawrence really should be careful. Things like that can have repercussions later on in life.

“I think people like Edward Snowden, Chelsea Manning are heroes,” she said. What a breath of fresh air!!

The Raiders Have No Idea What To Do With Antonio Brown

Yeah, when I read that I thought, “If anyone is an authority on being fucked in the head, it’s Drew!”

Questions, in descending order of importance:

Oh, that one’s easy. Just tell them they’re fucking idiots.

I honestly don’t know if I would be able to continue on if I lost my wife and little girl and the thought of ever experiencing an ounce of what he’s going through is turning my stomach.  Just an absolute tragedy

I’m going to Hell too for laughing at that text. 

After the first 15 or 16 refills he’s still turning a profit, but he’s starting to lose money around refill #20. I mean, each refill after that starts to cost him $.02-.03 each!

It’s what made the clip of kuechly sobbing on the cart bring things into focus.  For once we didn't see someone stonefaced with a thumb in the air when his tendons were shredded.

F1 is how I mute my speakers. If I popped that off, I’d never be able to uh...nevermind. 

ECW was fucking awesome

Bret, invite me to dinner at your house. I will NOT call you a bedbug. I will, however, give you a swirly and bang your wife. 

It’s good because I knew from the start that is was coming, and it still managed to deliver. “Turf toe” was perfect pitch. The Magary-style aggressive capitalization works, too.

What might not suck: They opened a sensory room at Lincoln for for fans with autism and other sensory issues who need to take a break without having to exit the stadium. I know we are supposed to be dragging them but Swoop has headphones on and that’s fucking adorable.