OMG THERE’S A BUG IN FACETIME! EVERYBODY PANIC! DISABLE FACETIME! NO! IT’S TOO LATE FOR THAT! JUST THROW YOUR IPHONE IN THE RIVER OMG IT’S THE END OF ALL THINGS!

Counterpoint  - these are tomato cans he’s beating up on.

Does playing arena football really count as un-retiring? At this point I feel like he just wants to play in a recreational men’s league because he enjoys playing soccer, but has made the prudent financial decision to play for the team that won’t charge him $50/season plus the cost to print a t-shirt.

Lauren, can you please take over full-time for Billy? I genuinely enjoy your concise, well-written, well-thought out articles that are not the length of Hammurabi’s Code.

Republicans watch high school basketball too.

“Hello Sir, how may I help you?”

This patchwork quilt has an unsightly patch. I know, I’ll keep applying new patches until it looks good again. Oh, but now it’s uneven where I did all the patching. I know, I’ll patch all the other patches until it’s even again.

This is the satanism scare from the 80s but somehow stupider.

I’m not sure I fully understand this one, but just in case I’m giving you a star anyway.

Joe Hart meanwhile continues to dream of the day he would be called for good goaltending.

And he gets credit for killing *all of the X-Men* in the Old Man Logan universe by using illusions to trick Wolverine into thinking his teammates are villains attacking the X-Mansion.

Get DVDs from your local library. Sure, they look like someone ran a belt sander over them while handling with their pizza grease covered fingers but some pixelation or frozen screen is a small price to pay. 

That’s funny. In France, they don’t teach reading until kids are about 6-7. Same with Scandinavian countries. Japan doesn’t begin until first grade either — that same 6-7 years of age.

So no, your child would not be considered ‘developmentally stunted in most other countries’, but quite the opposite. Teachers would…

I am surprised by how many NFL and NCAA employees have time to come on here and post nasty replies to your message.

Yes, I wrote that article about a Kansas farm, and linked it a couple of times in the article above:

I think we’ve reached the point where you need to start listing him as Dale Hansen instead of “Dallas Sportscaster.” I get that there’s a certain novelty to what Deadspin uses, and I know whenever I see his face I think “Oh, it’s the Woke Texan,” but he’s been doing this for long enough. It undersells who he is as a…

Pure fire. Might consider changing the punctuation in the quote to clarify that 6 white coaches are being hired and 2 black coaches are being fired. As it is it reads more like there are 6 white coaches and 2 black coaches being hired.

Disagree. I disagree about the cookies part, that feels like a jaded stance to take, to jump ahead to the part where we’re assuming dude did it for the clout/props.

Europeans increased the police presence in native American neigborhoods by increasing the number of nuisance complaints?