Who gets credit for starting the tree? Why is the tree named after Bill Parcells instead of whoever coached Bill Parcells?  Don’t they all just wind back to some mythical First Coach? Some kind of Darwinian common ancestor to all coaches? Picture a mudskipper with a clipboard.

Seems like I remember Justin Timberlake being involved in some kind of halftime performance controversy, but I can’t remember which one it was.  Must have slipped my mind.

So let me see if I understand your point - you’re disappointed because soccer, in general, does not have a problem with violent retaliation?

Look at the woman sitting next to him with her hands up. “Oh dear, that man appears to have been injured.  How odd.”

Nothing says “good, hard work” like preparing seven solid days for something and then getting blown out of the fucking water. Maybe he should ask himself if what he’s doing is working. But I guess if he had the capacity to incorporate new evidence into his operating theory of the world he wouldn’t be an ASSISTANT…

It’s been done:

“The imperialists” omg fuck off

Omg. Pretty soon every play is going to be automatically reviewed. Fuck all of this. Fuck replay. This isn’t the goddamn Supreme Court. The whole reason you can’t challenge inside two minutes is because it would irreversibly fuck up what is supposed to be the most exciting part of the game.

Your friends sound fucking boring

I bet if they could do it again they would name themselves La Super League Premier A Series Football

I don’t understand what Lazlow is doing in this list?  If I’m understanding his little blurb correctly, he is not a “real-life” celebrity, nor is he playing his “actual self” (it seems more accurate to say he’s performing the same character he performs elsewhere).

Are we eventually going to learn the story behind the other two guys in the quintessential photo of Papa that appears over every article?  Who are they?  What are their takes?  I feel like an oral history is in order...

A) I wasn’t good
B) This was small town Indiana in the 90s, no one knew fullbacks could do that

Former fullback here - boo fucking hoo. At least you have moments where you get to look super cool.

What if he thinks it’s accomplishing “make me look crazy”

You have to watch the video.  Which is annoying.

Seems like could also have just used a cold pack.  Why the fuck is there even a head of lettuce in a fucking baseball dugout

Cotton uniforms

The university accepts “moral responsibility” for killing a person?  Really?